New Years Resolution . . .

Forum » Beenos Trumpet » New Years Resolution . . .

Jan 03, 2023, 16:12

My resolution for 2023 on this board is to be kind to everyone every time I post.

If any poster on this board thinks I'm breaking my resolution, feel free to revisit this post and remind me.

In this new spirit of kindness, I have taken the liberty of compiling a list of suggested resolutions for all posters:

Sharkbok - Be patient with ou Maaik. It can't be easy being in his shoes.

Doos XL - The Pat Lambie poster has enough darts in it. Frankly, I don't see how any more could fit. Get out a bit more. Talk to real live people sometimes.

Stav - Try not to correct Moffie so often. Just let some of the more obvious and hilarious ones slide. We don't want to all be integrating x squared for the whole year again.

Baboon-ou - Wherever you are or whatever boards you're posting your incoherent babble on, enjoy! Give them hell. No need to report back here, we're all sure you're doing a fine job. Keep at it. Live the dream. Adieu!

Saffex - Don't discuss rugby with Doos XL. We can all see it's not helping either of you. You start cursing and he just drifts further into orbit.

DumbAss - Don't miss any of those anger management counselling sessions. We all like you a lot more when you're in therapy. Don't get mad now, remember, this is just me with some friendly advice. There you go . . . count to 10 . . . slowly!

Ou Maaik - This is probably the toughest one of the lot so good luck, but try waiting a few seconds after you hit the submit button before pushing it again. I know a page refresh is beyond your limited capabilities but just 3 or 4 seconds. It's not asking too much.

Dense - Do not under any circumstances engage with Moffie in the cricket section. There's a level of cringe I can cope with and when you goad him into talking cricket I go beyond that level. When Moffie talks batting technique, he makes Doos XL almost sound like he's actually watched a game of rugby.

ButtPlug - When you get an idea in your head, instead of typing it up as quickly as you can, rather go for a spliff - or jerk yourself off or colour-by-numbers or visit Meton or whatever it is that you do to relax - and wait for more thoughts and ideas to come. Then try and articulate them all together as a sort of batch program. That way we might understand some of what you're saying. 

Moffie - Drink less, work out more . . . or at least take the zimmer frame for an occasional trundle.

fArt (and Tit if he still reads us) - Don't drink at all!

Blob - When you copy and paste, try copy just the text you want and not the unwanted pics, popups and icons at the bottom of the page. A lot of your threads end up in a continuous stream because of this.

Bendover - Ummm . . . let me think . . . trying to be kind here . . . I know, pray regularly for whatever medical institution is doing research on personality transplants . . . and don't forget, at least one person still loves you for who you are.

If I've left you off this list, feel free to post your resolution on this thread.

Jan 03, 2023, 22:03

Awe, i got the longest paragraph.

And you recently admitted that you think about me while doing physical exercise.

Dentsie’s the girl but you’re the one with the crush.


Jan 03, 2023, 22:49

No resolution for Mrs Searle…..hmm….I guess that would be a conversation of one.

Jan 04, 2023, 00:58

If any poster on this board thinks I'm breaking my resolution, feel free to revisit this post and remind me.

Jan 04, 2023, 06:46

Rooinek, I don't have to do anything, Pompous as per normal tries to impress everyone with his superior knowledge only to embarrass himself and as for Meton calling ....well, as you say no-one quite knows what he's talking about.

Jan 04, 2023, 08:42

Pity you didn't leave me out rather, you nearly did. 

There's no help for you, we know that, your conscience has been seared too much.

For others, choose the straight and narrow road fir Rooibos has burnt himself with his wild lusts. 

Jan 04, 2023, 11:23

"For others, choose the straight and narrow road fir Rooibos has burnt himself with his wild lusts. "

Yes, others. Choose the path to Jesus and watch those wild lusts . . . especially if you're near an open flame.

Good advice. Thanks Bendover, I see you're getting the hang of this kindness thing. Keep it up!

Jan 04, 2023, 11:35

"No resolution for Mrs Searle…..hmm….I guess that would be a conversation of one."

Ah yes . . . Rooinek is Mrs Searle . . . and Doos XL has never posted under another name . . . and ou Maaik is a nice guy . . . and Baboon-ou is not brainwashed . . . and Moffie has a life outside this message board . . .

Mrs Searle is more than welcome to post her own resolution . . . I just hope she doesn't get her tits out again (and send ou Maaik running off to Cliques to check out their after-Christmas specials.)

Jan 04, 2023, 14:26

Brilliant just fucking brilliant!

Cuntyboy got the longest bit because he loves reading about himself. Shit I bet he jerked off to Mrs Searle’s tits after reading that lot hahahaha

Jan 04, 2023, 14:31

I promise to be more patient with Ou Maaik. :D

Jan 04, 2023, 15:29

Went to buy some kettlebells with a giftcard that I received for Xmas.

When I took them to the counter, the guy said "I was gonna ask if this is a New Year's resolution but I can see that you have been training for a long time."

Yeah, feels good.

Jan 04, 2023, 15:53

Maybe Rooi should trade the saggy dairy bells for kettlebells and get his bikini body ready for Summer. :D

Jan 04, 2023, 21:03

Dwarfs don't do bikinis.:D

Jan 04, 2023, 21:05

"I promise to be more patient with Ou Maaik. :D"

Just try being less rude to the oom please.

Jan 04, 2023, 21:40

Actually I preferred the comic character Mrs Searle to his other comic character Rooinek. And I love the way he is now soft on Comrade September after he/she desperate for a different master, picked the man who had slagged off his dead brother. There is low and there is the Comrade.

Jan 04, 2023, 21:44

Moffie, if it turns out that I'm not Mrs Searle, will you be man enough to admit that you have loads of egg all over your face?

Jan 04, 2023, 22:03

...You're the best candidate for posing as Mrs Searle , but it's possible that it could be somebody else...but how can the actual identity of Red Rose be proven either way?

Jan 05, 2023, 16:25

The shoe fits, if it belongs to you is really irrelevant, so I’ll assume it does.

Jan 05, 2023, 17:57

Can't wait for the nonsensical reason why it can't be Rudehole...

Jan 06, 2023, 01:54

Point taken Rooinek, thanks, I'm a dinosauric IT operator.
Dunno about your quest in sharing 'a cup of kindness' over the next 360 days though ................... firstly it ain't in your DNA & with this thread you've undoubtedly pissed off a few members already!

Jan 06, 2023, 09:13

The board’s favourite Che T-shirt wearing Marxist hasn’t pissed anyone off.

We know and love him for being an angry tithead.

If he suddenly started being nice, or said something interesting…now that would be horrible.

Jan 06, 2023, 12:15

You got me wrong blob. My DNA is made up of kindness.

There's nothing I said above that wasn't said in the most well-meaning and kindest possible way.

Jan 06, 2023, 13:39

Ole Rooifag and Sharkpit sound like Noddy and Big Ears of old. 

Jan 06, 2023, 20:22

You forgot me, Rooinek :(

Jan 07, 2023, 09:13

"You forgot me, Rooinek"

That's because you don't need to change anything becs. We like you just the way you are.

Jan 07, 2023, 09:34

When people were made…God gave Becs all the good stuff.

Rooi was next in line…

Jan 08, 2023, 00:53

Oh that is so nice of you both :) 

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