Stress Ball Volume 2 chat

Forum » Beenos Trumpet » Stress Ball Volume 2 chat

Jun 11, 2019, 14:00

Post all discussions, comments, plot material and otherwise here.

Jun 11, 2019, 14:02


with regards to?

Jun 11, 2019, 14:30

You'll figure it out. I have faith in you Chips :angel:

Jun 11, 2019, 14:53

Just by the way, my next chapter in the previous thread about gladiators and stuff was going to be Plumus, Klownius and some of the other gladiators standing in the Colosseum with Plumus making a version of the speech that Maximus (Russell Crowe) gave in the movie Gladiator where he said whatever comes out of those gates, we'll be better off if we stick together . . . and then the gates would open to reveal . . . Ronnie Coleman!

Klownius of course would have immediately fallen face down on the floor and lifted his toga but the rest of you would have fought him and Emperor Pissmintius would have given the thumbs up or thumbs down on whether Klownius got royally rogered by Ronnie Coleman in front of everyone.

Just thought I'd mention that.

Jun 11, 2019, 16:24

Rooiters we could have had a lot of fun with that. I was going to head down the route of your character and an inappropriate relationship with his sister (also like the movie), just so the mud was flung equally in all directions, but alas, it was not to be. I hope you'll kick us off with the new thread, in my opinion you did a more than decent job the last time round. I am aware that I am isolated in that opinion.  

Jun 11, 2019, 18:27

Blou: "I am aware that I am isolated in that opinion.  "

Not that isolated  Blue, this might be hard to believe, but I can appreciate a good "story telling" and satire is a neglected art. Rooi and a few others on here are good at it(my quarrel with him does not blind me to it)...I'm not much of a wordsmith, but some on here are. Card/fox/Auge/Whatever-he'll-be-called-next is also a quite entertaining writer...

Good luck on your thread. I'll be an avid reader.:)

Jun 11, 2019, 20:23

I'm 100% for piss taking. 

Problem is, only one person needs to be offended and it's gorilla margins 2.0.

If you guys want, i'm happy to continue the old thread too.

If one of the stated reasons is the cause of it's demise, at least I can say that I told yas so.

We include *return to old thread* as a voting option?

Sound good/better?

Jun 11, 2019, 20:30

And I also agree about Rooi's kickoff in the previous round.

I listened to it on an audio reader while driving.  


Jun 11, 2019, 20:41

No, let's go with a new one . . . no board members allowed to be named (or implied). I'm not starting it though . . . someone else can go first.

I do like Sci-fi. Maybe not the traditional sci-fi but I'm a huge fan of Kurt Vonnegut. Read just about everything he's ever written.

Jun 11, 2019, 21:17

I reckon we could do a lot worse than Klown's belated effort on the original thread. 

It fits the Sci-Fi category, it doesn't name or offend any posters and it's mercifully short. I'm going to paste it on the main stress ball thread and someone can pick it up from there . . .

Jun 12, 2019, 05:40

'Rooiters'........waaaahaha......Blou Balletjie you could suck a soccer ball through a hose pipe....what a groupie you turned out to be.

Jun 12, 2019, 07:32

Ag Moz stop taking yourself so seriously! My one mate had a Ridgeback called Roy. The dogs nickname was Royter or Royter Shtoyter. Rooiter was just a play on that. I sometimes add the "s" at the end as a play on words with Reuters. Anyway, isn't Reuters a solid representation of the mainstream media that so many condemn so vehemently on this site? Hardly a compliment right? Lastly, considering Rooiters political views, I reckon Reuters is pretty similarly aligned. Long story short, I think its a very appropriate nickname. 

On me being a groupie, think what you will. But as memory serves me, it was my comment directed mostly at Rooiter that resulted in his infamous FU and departure from the site. I must be the kakkest groupie ever! 

I have had many run ins with Rooi over the years, just as I have with you and many others. There is one poster that I have no respect for, and I basically ignore that person, but it is neither of you. Even so, I neither hate nor align myself with anyone. 

That sums up my loyalties

Jun 12, 2019, 11:24


Jun 12, 2019, 12:12

Ok well, i made an attempt. Should be quite a bit to run with there.

Jun 12, 2019, 12:25

New rule . . . whoever is taking on the next chapter should say so in this chat section otherwise we could hve a stuff up like the one today where I typed up my follow up to bluebok's chapter and posted before seeing that Plum had already beaten me to it.

I'm going to delete and someone else can go. I'll do the one after that.

Jun 12, 2019, 12:34

This was my deleted effort:

"But . . . what are they? Where are they from?" Asked the girl, panting slightly causing her breasts to heave up and down in a manner that made the neighbour start to lose focus.

There was a sound behind them and they both swung around to see a frightening alien creature . . . half insect and half lizard . . . standing behind them . . . all six of his eyes trained on the milkmaid's heaving breasts.

The milkmaid screamed and the neighbour sank to his knees in terror. The Great Dane drank the milk that had been spilled.

"Don't kill us", the neighbour begged.

"You said we were everywhere and we are," said the alien in a flat monotone that sounded a bit like Nataniel talking with a mouth full of water, "not literally of course, but figuratively."

"Y-you speak English?" said the milkmaid incredulously.

"I learned you primitive earthling language in about 7 seconds and assimilated all your literature in another 4 seconds.", said the alien, "That Catch 22 was a very funny book and I also enjoyed Game of Thrones . . . except the ending was crap. Now, back to business, normally I'd instruct you to take us to your leader but I'm not falling for that one again!"

"Wha-what do you mean?", stammered the neighbour?

"This is our second landing, We first landed yesterday in a place called Washington DC and told them to take us to their leader but instead they took us to see a fat, orange moron whose IQ was about a third of the rest of you earthlings . . . so we're not falling for a trick like that again" said the alien.

"What do you want from us?" asked the neighbour.

""Well . . . see now . . . we're actually from what some of you call the "Deep State" and it's our job to promote the agenda of the treasonous open-border globalist scumbags." said the alien. "We have learned of one who knows about our agenda and seeks to stop us. It's our job to find this earthling and silence him. Do you know where we can find a place called . . . ummmm . . . Cape Town?"

Jun 12, 2019, 13:07

Haha Rooi

So, are you next?

Jun 12, 2019, 13:26

I've heard the expression 'it's a dog's life'......I suppose giving Rooinek a dog's name could be considered in that spirit. But I'm not convinced Blou Balletjie, you Bool fans are like Germans, either at one's throat or at one's feet.

Jun 12, 2019, 13:27

I'll go next if no-one else has gone by this evening. I've got a lot less time this afternoon than I had this morning when I typed that up.

I'll be sure to check in on the chat section first though.

If anyone else wants to go next, please feel free.

Jun 12, 2019, 13:33


Jun 12, 2019, 13:40

What's up Mr Moz?

Feel free to contribute ;)

Jun 12, 2019, 13:41

Looks like Moffie is next up . . . someone should explain to the drunken old fool which chapter he's following on from because he's not the best when it comes to following basic instructions.

Jun 12, 2019, 13:43

I don't know what is worse, being likened to a German or other Bulls fans?! Hahaha. 

Mozter, it is what it is, I took a considerable amount of time typing on my cell phone (a bloody slow and tedious process with my clumsy fingers). You either accept my explanation or you don't. Its up to you Mnr.  

Ps. Although my feelings towards him have nothing whatsoever to do with my feelings towards Rooiter, Old Royter was an awesome dog! Just felt I needed to add that as a sign of respect for a great dog that is no longer with us.

Jun 12, 2019, 13:46

I suspect this will be a bit like the prediction games where Moffie is too gutless to enter himself but is always quick to have a snigger when someone who did have the guts to enter gets one wrong.

Too gutless (or illiterate) to make a contribution of his own on the collaborative story but quick to have a yap at those who do.

What a tiresome old bore.

Jun 12, 2019, 14:58

May Royter rest in peace......did you ever know a dog called Koosie?

Jun 12, 2019, 15:10

True story. I was once interested in buying a motorcycle from a guy. I went to his house to check out the bike and he had an awesome adolescent Rottweiler. Anyway, I was inspecting his bike and chatting with the guy about whatever, and the next thing he realises that his gate is open and that the dog has taken off down the street. He runs out shouting "Nipples! Nipples! Nipples!" That was his dogs actual name!!! I swear to God. 

Just thought I'd throw that out there. 

Jun 12, 2019, 15:38

My last Rottie was called Luger.....German you intruders' throats, but the family's feet.

Jun 12, 2019, 16:07

In America, most people name their dog Spot, because on their Pet's back they have a spot. The pronunciation of Spot - is Spoeaat. 

When Spot wants to go to Mcdonalds, the whole family goes. They have such a great time, and Spot really enjoys Mcdonalds, you can see how happy he is. 

When the smell of farts follow the outing, they blame Spot, and when someone pees in the pool Spot is also to blame. The family so dearly loves Spot.....

Jun 12, 2019, 16:15

Plum, note that the spiteful old windbag with the emotional maturity of a little child who is intentionally disrupting your story is the same coward who hasn't got the guts to make a contribution of his own; he's the same immature and attention-seeking little spoilsport using this chat thread to talk about his stupid dog that no-one else cares about and he's the same semi-literate fool who was so pleased to find a grammatical error in Klown's opening post but still hasn't found the second one I told him about which shows him up to be the self-important old hypocrite that he is.

I wonder how many tims the doddering old drunkard has read through Klown's short little piece now still looking for the error that he missed? 10? 20?


Anyway, note that I did suggest putting a ban on the over 70 fossils taking part . . . especially when they don't have even a basic grasp on the English language . . . and especially if they've started drinking so early in the day.

Jun 12, 2019, 16:22

I've just had a brilliant idea! Whoever goes next should introduce a scoutmaster and boy scout into the storyline. 

Doesn't matter if it's irrelevant to the plot but it will grab Moffie's attention and he'll stop sabotaging the story as he clutches his tiny shrivelled little gherkin hoping for the next mention of the scoutmaster and boy scout.

Jun 12, 2019, 16:46 I intimidate you Peeper! Like a puppet on a string! Perhaps we should do a story about Popo the Puppet.

Jun 12, 2019, 16:50

Go right ahead Moffie, just start your own thread.

Good luck to anyone trying to start a collaborative story on here with the level of childishness, spite and stupidity we've seen so far . . . all coming from sad and lifeless losers with no intention of adding anything to the story themselves but who clearly have nothing better to do with their boring lives than disrupt the people who are making an effort.

Jun 12, 2019, 17:03

Yes of course....everybody else is soooooooo childish. But look at post 2 on the thread, posted by Popo immediate gotcha aimed at Carbuncle.

What a silly, spiteful tit you are Peeper.....always do what you say, even though you are of course exempt from those restrictions.

Jun 12, 2019, 17:53

Very funny, Redneck. Totally cracked me up.

I wonder, would the Emperor have shown mercy to Klownius, had he known that this greatly loved citizen of Rome, was in fact a virgin?

He was neither a dipper ... nor the dippee ...

Think on it ... the Emperor would forever be known as Emperor Pissmintius the Merciful ... and be loved by the people ... celebrated ... second only to their favourite son of Rome, Klownius.


Jun 12, 2019, 18:10

Plum and other contributors to the story, I have a solution. Some may not like my solution but at least take a look here.

I have started a thread for the Volume 1 Chat and we just need to decide whether to copy and paste Volume 1 straight into that area or wait for enough interested people to register and they can copy and paste their content from the Ruckers thread and paste it there, so it would still be under their name.

I promise you that the registration process literally takes about 2 minutes as long as you're using a valid email address and all you have to do is wait a few seconds for an activation email, copy and paste the activation code and you're in.

I'm not trying to steal anything away from Ruckers Forum and if enough people are interested then we'll use that area exclusively for these collaborative stories.

Childish old septuagenarians who are intent on derailing Plum's excellent idea will be able to read content on there but won't be able to add anything . . . unless of course they want to take part like adults in which case they are also welcome.

So anyone up for it? Just click on the link above, register with the same name (or at least tell me what name you were on Ruckers) and we can get going again.

Jun 12, 2019, 18:18

... besides, wouldn't a seasoned dippee veteran like Moffius be better suited to Ronnie Coleman?

The crowd would most certainly have cheered Ronnie on, as Moffius wasn't really liked much ... especially as he loved talking about his top of the line sports chariot that everyone knew he didn't own. 


Jun 12, 2019, 18:24

Klown, you're welcome to resurrect that story on Ruckers Stress Ball.

We can have that historical fiction story running together with Plum's sci-fi story.

Jun 12, 2019, 18:34

The entire Historical Fiction thread (my opener and the follow-up chapters by bluebok and Plum) has been posted there and you're free to continue.

Jun 13, 2019, 09:12

Thanks Rooi.

So much of complicate haha

Seems like nobody will follow my part on Stress Ball Volume 2.

I felt like I opened it up quite nicely. Lots of places for the story to go.

Moz, cumon man, it'd be cool if you gave us a page or two.

Jun 13, 2019, 09:19

If nobody has added anything by this afternoon then I shall have to visit my shed and emerge with some inspiration.

Catch up -

Bilzerian: Commands a reverse engineered and top secret craft.

Riley: Second in command and ships technical officer.

Ben: Medical officer and psy-ops veteran. 

Farm girl: Yet to be named. Has shocked the craft's crew by seemingly being familiar with the ship's AI network. Something R&D nor any crew were ever able to do after copy and pasting the ship's design from a craft discovered more than fifty years ago.

Farm girl's neighbour: Still shitting himself behind the barn since he believed the holographic projections of alien creatures to be real.

Jun 14, 2019, 13:42

Only me then.

No problem.

Ok, the girl now has a name...Rawiri. Sounds like an indian car manufacturer but there you go.

Geez, sci-fi is a tad difficult.

Jun 14, 2019, 13:51

Sorry if I left you in the lurch there Plum but I'm a lot less inclined to take part in this collaborative story when a drunken, stupid, illiterate and cowardly old fool jumps into the main story and starts whining about people's grammar and spelling . . . especially when it's the same doddering old fool who's given us words like "teath", "stipid" and "kanipshins".

I actually think I'm doing you a favour if I no longer take part. I think Moffie is a lot less likely to shove his stupid cowardly nose into your story if I stay away. I will certainly keep reading and I hope others join you in keeping it going.

Jun 14, 2019, 14:18

Dos right! By the way could you explain in a new story how a nose could be's a fascinating concept!

Jun 14, 2019, 14:22

No worries lads.

I shall carry the torch until y'all calm down. 

Jun 14, 2019, 16:56

This was the last contribution from Peepus Minimus:

'Our story begins in the Year 5 BC in the city of Rome.

Not far from the Colosseum on a back street just off the main road is a tavern called the Forum Ruckussium owned by an old drunkard named Moffius. The tavern serves as a front to an illegal trafficking business run by Moffius where slaves known as Servile Gimps (Gimpus Servilae) are smuggled into the Colosseum by crooked guards to service those gladiators who have a preference for the company of men. Trafficking of Gimps is a surprisingly good source of income for Moffius, certainly enough to keep him inebriated all day every day and Moffius has one particular client - a gladiator named Klownius - who has an almost insatiable appetite for the services of the Servile Gimps


A few notes. The Colosseum never existed in BC 5.

' The Colosseum is situated just east of the Roman Forum. Construction began under the emperor Vespasian in AD 72[2] and was completed in AD 80 under his successor.'


Servile Gimps (Gimpus Sirvilae) .....hahaha......Gimpus is singular.......Gimpi is the plural corresponding to Gimpus.


Serves as a 'front to' .......'front for' is the correct terminology.


Is this the worst bit of historical fiction ever........and imagine, I have to correct Peeper's grammar.....even when he is 'using' Latin.

Jun 14, 2019, 18:01

Feel free to correct my grammar Moz.

Feel even more free to get involved.

Cumon, I need help haha

Jun 14, 2019, 18:11

And Peeper needs history and Latin lessons.....look Ploom, nice idea actually. But you have one poster who started the whole thing as a put down to other posters. That set an unfortunate tone, and I guarantee you it will continue. So can do.

Jun 14, 2019, 18:20


Hence the new rules :)

Which I think he'll stick to.

Jun 14, 2019, 20:26

What Moffie is really saying is that he doesn't have the originality, the creativity or the minimum literacy requirements to make a significant contribution to the Stress Ball story.

Just a drunken old fool who gets his rocks off by belittling other people's efforts when he hasn't got the cojones to make a contribution of his own . . . a lot like his incessant squawking about the fantasy and prediction comps come to think of it.

Jun 15, 2019, 06:11

Haaaaaaahaha I wouldn't belittle you Peepie Minimus, you are small enough already.

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