can be effective in the air... That is a high jump.

Crazy

Lol you actually think he jumped that high?

Pic is taken from closer to ground level.

I mean, unless you think that when Fassi lifts his knees he can clear a door(2m).

Hahaha…..Ramboozled

From Rambo to Dumbo.

I do believe his vertical jump can be 1.5 meters. We've see many players get clipped in the air from feet level. Still very high 

Because I said ‘crazy’ you fucking idiots?

What does me saying ‘crazy’ mean to you dumb fucks huh?

4 Foot? I could jump 4 foot high.

Their is no doubt the photo either has some manipulation, or as ButtPlug says the camera positioning might be distorting proportions.

This isn’t measuring feet off the ground, which can be influenced by bending legs……this is measuring balls off the ground. Admittedly those of us with a large pair can get a good bounce. I doubt Ramballs can make 6 inches more than the 24 inches they are at rest.

Fuck off Moz

Crazy…..hahaha!

Haha, this board close to Christmas just becomes something else. 

Jingle balls, jingle balls, rising in the air...
Oh what fun it is to jump
At another ball up there

"Does that make me crazzeee...

...probableee"

LMFAO

I heard that Dave once leaped 12 foot into the air and did a 360 no-scope headshot at 4 miles on a spider infected with "porky pies" disease.

After this event, he became fondly known as "God".

Fucking idiots

"I heard that Dave once leaped 12 foot into the air and did a 360 no-scope headshot at 4 miles on a spider infected with "porky pies" disease."

It was actually a dung beetle Plum

Rambo the muppet can do anything

Jump like a spring

Shoot straight as a string

Yes Rambo the muppet can do anything 

If he is the one typing….typing….typing….typing

If he is the one typing.

…….

With apologies to Danny Kaye.

Big fucking yawn

Oh come now…the rhyme and the rhythm are perfect, it’s easy on the tongue. Admittedly one needs to put the emphasis on ‘ping’ in ‘typing’ to get the full flow but that’s acceptable. As a man of culture I would have thought this is right in your wheelhouse.

Saffex, this is not the first (and probably not the last) time Moffie has butchered some poet or songwriter' s work by putting up some incredibly childish and stupid words of his own and then gotten all red-faced and angry because no-one else thinks it's funny or clever.

This latest effort of his is particularly weak. I'm actually a bit embarrassed for him.

Songwriters(sic)….I assume you mean ‘songwriter’s’….I’m embarrassed for you.

Rooi tried to join the army...but a copy of Das Kapital fell out of his backpack in the recruitment office. 

Did you do any military service, ButtPlug?

Does dodging rogue cows in a field count as military service? If so, I'm a decorated veteran.

It's a valid question, ButtPlug. If (as I suspect) you didn't do any military service then why are you having a weak little pop at someone who did?

Ah, the classic 'you-can't-critique-a-movie-unless-you're-a-director' argument. I may not have served, but I didn't realize Rambo cosplay was above friendly fire.

Not really, more like the classic "don't throw stones in glass houses" expression.

I never tried to join the army, I was forced to join the army. Your generation was spared that so rather just be grateful . . . although having said that, you millenials are a bit on the soft side . . . and you're living proof of that.

"I was forced to join the army. Your generation was spared that so rather just be grateful"

...is it only me, or does this give off "I got bullied in the army" vibes?

Think what you will, ButtPlug, whatever blows your hair back.

I can think of very few opinions that mean less to me than yours.

Congratulations...

You absolute su perstar!

National service was 2 years wasted

The boer PF’s hated us English boys

My intake was the last to do 2 years

What year was that Saffex? Mine was 1980/81.

Probably 88

88/89

In my first year at Rhodes they reduced it to 18 months then I think it went down to a year then nothing if memory serves me correctly

My first year was pure hell at Infantry School - Oudshoorn - we literally got fucked up for 10 months, second year Madimbo/ Kruger Park/ Letaba Ranch - 113 Btn

You?

6 months basic training at 4SAI (Middelburg Tvl), 3 months COIN Ops in Messina and then up to the border, 4 months in Opohoho in the Kaokoveld, 6 months in Oshigambo in Ovamboland and the last 4 months in Katima Mulilo in the Caprivi Strip.

See any action?

"See any action?"

Thankfully not. Ours was the only one of 5 platoons in the Company that didn't have a contact during our stint in the Ovamboland .

At those locations I'm sure Rooi saw plenty of horrific "action".

Part of the Infantry School stint was 6 weeks up there on the Strip - it was called Border phase

I don’t recall much other than having to lie flat in the back of large open trucks on our way up there

I served in 65. We had one rather funny contact with the ‘enemy’. There was terrorist activity in South West and we patrolled up to the Cunene River. There was evidence trawlers were putting weapons ashore.

One morning when I was on watch, we saw many dots on the radar, scampering out of territorial water and raced at our max of about 20 measly knots, to interdict.

We cornered one Russian trawler and were told by Naval Headquarters to arrest the vessel. Knowing there was going to be a language issue we had big signs in Russian telling them they were under arrest and to proceed with us to Walvis Bay.

They ignored us and steamed in circles as we cut them off….then in what we assumed were diversion tactics, they dumped fish and the woman came out and hung washing amid the scores of sea birds.

Then the Navy thought better of it and told us to disengage. Incredibly a couple of hours later Military Headquarters in Pretoria told us to find and re-arrest the trawler. So we steamed around all day with no chance of finding the ship.

That was also the last patrol of SAS Good Hope, by the time we got back to Simonstown we were trailing a huge plume of smoke as the engine made some spectacular noises. She now lies in False Bay, scuttled to form a conservation reef.

But I have a blown up, framed picture of her that I glance at every day

Cool story Moz it trumps my cow shot

The cow shot gets my vote.

My experience of the Cunene river was a bit different to Moffie's. Truly one of the most beautiful and spectacular sights I've ever seen.

In late 1980 I was walking patrols in the Kaokoveld which is basically semi-desert at best where the dusty little village of Opohoho was our base. There had been no action in that area for years so we tended to fill our magazine pouches with water and oranges rather than R1 magazines. I remember walking miles on end through blistering heat where the only relief was the occasional village when my compatriots would punch or slap the PBs (Plaaslike Bevolking) demanding to know where the terrorists were hiding. I think some of these dutchies had watched one too many Vietnam war movies. I was horrified because the locals were the Himba people, a gentle and peaceful people who just appeared dazed and confused when the SADF arrived and started beating them up. 

Anyway, there was one time when we were sent north to the Angola border on a patrol and I have a very clear memory of walking through this oppressive, dry and arid desert only to see a band of green in the distance. As we got closer we saw the first proper trees we'd seen in months and the beautiful blue Cunene river. We ended up near a place called Epupa Falls where we camped for a few days and just chilled. A spectacular waterfall and an oasis of green and blue in the middle of a dry desert.

My other memory of that time is when we saw a goat on the Angola side of the Cunene and a few of our platoon crossed the river, shot the goat and brought it back. One of our platoon was the son of a butcher and he gutted and butchered the goat so we all go a big hunk of meat. After eating rat packs and tins for weeks on end, fresh meat was about the most exciting thing that had happened to us. Now there were ony about three of us souties (English speaking, or Rooinekke) in the platoon and we lit a fire to braai our meat, while the rest of our Afrikaans-speaking compatriots had a chuckle, pointed at us and laughed. They also lit a fire but they didn't braai their meat, they put it into water, added some spice and let it slowly cook overnight and ended up with a delicious stew while our meat that we'd braaied hadn't hung or aged at all, so it was literally like eating elastic. Luckily there was so much meat to go around we got some of the stew the next evening and to this day goat is one of my favourite meats to eat.

Whatever else, the Cunene river remains a very memorable place for me, a beautiful band of lush green and blue in the middle of a desert.

Rooi, thanks for your service... you and the others...it was forced on you, but you still did it...thanks...it was a big ask.

Well thank you Draad. I can count on one hand the amount of times anyone has shown any appreciation for what we went through . . . but I'm sure Saffex and others will agree with me, as much as we hated it, the whole army experience made men of us.

I know I went into the army a boy and came out a man and there were a lot of other things that changed for me, some of which are extremely personal. Those years may not be the happiest of my life but they were probably the most influential and character-forming years of my life.

..

Sad….the old boat carried us through some rough seas. The Navy was given the freedom of the city in East London. The whole fleet was practically there….including some of the more modern frigates.

When we left sailing up the river to the harbor mouth, it was clear things were pretty stormy. Waves were exploding in spray off the harbor wall. 

I was sent down to the paint locker to secure the supplies. As we came out the harbor the ship started to rise and fall alarmingly. That and the smell of paint was pretty unpleasant.

Later I got a photo of the President Steyn (I think) on top of a huge swell with the front 50% of the hull clear of the water hovering over a deep chasm. It was a mind bending picture which I lost somewhere in my travels, but it stays with me.

Recruits and permanent force guys were sick during that storm, but honestly I think the Good Hope rode the waves as well as any of the newer ships….now she lies beneath those waves carrying many memories good and bad.

A story resulting from conscription...

A tour bus was making its way through the Colombian mountains. On board were young people from all around the globe.

Whilst making its way up a particularly tricky mountain pass, the bus is intercepted by guerrilla fighters wearing face masks and carrying rifles.

The moment the doors opened one of the masked men boarded the bus and in broken English asked "Are there any Jews here?"

There were two young jewish couples on board and the rest of the travellers, human nature and all, pointed them out almost immediately.

The masked man walked over to one of the young Jewish men, grabbed him by the shirt and walked him off the bus and around some bushes until they were out of sight.

A short while later shots rang out. One, two...a pause and then two more shots. The travellers on the bus screamed and panicked, the Jewish girls already crying in terror.

After a couple of minutes the masked man and the young Jewish chap emerged from behind the bush, and the Jewish chap had a big smile on his face. He boarded the bus and the guerrillas disappeared into the jungle.

Turns out the guerrillas were using the Tavor x95 rifle and it kept jamming due to conditions in the jungle. But they knew that this was the stock weapon of the Israeli army and that Israel has a military conscription policy, so any young Israeli you meet would likely know how to unjam the rifle. So all they wanted was for the lad give them some unjamming tips.