If board members were animals

I'll start...

Shark - Mudfish. Literally has no purpose other than to make the most patient of fisherman feel he's wasted a day.

Tiger - Beeno. He adds on an extra stripe every time he makes a complete fool out of Rooi. 

Donkey - Rooi. Only really good for carrying a load but seems to stare at the sky from time to time as though contemplating matters well beyond his scope. Thick, grumpy...you know the drill.

Monkey - Draad. He swings about branches in the jungle wondering why the stupid donkey keeps looking up at him. Strangely, not a nitpicker.

Squirrel - Denny. As skittish as they come and will often freeze in place when he feels the glare of a predator. Is it his tail or his ego which is softest? I guess we'll never know.

Giraffe - Blobok. They make such good zoo animals. Never question a thing as long as their bellies are full. 

Coelacanth - CC. Thought he was extinct until his recent appearance...out of the blue.

Gorilla - Saffex. Generally chilled but will thump the ground and stare you down when he's had enough. Has a limp but soldiers on regardless.

Siberian snow fox - Seb. Has an acquired tasted for the fermented. Enjoys a good shag in the snow and is always about three seconds away from breaking into the singing the Russian national anthem.

Peacock - Moz. Old donkey can't help but gaze in envious amazement at his display. Some say he does it just to confuse an already confused donkey. Envy, fear...it's all the same to donkey.

Afrikanis(dog) - Pakie . Looks placid huh? Go on, mess with him, I dare you.

Crow - Aug. Has a eye for shiny things and easily outwits the other animals. Especially those of the birdbrain variety.

Irish Wolfhound - Star. Pretty hard to see the wood for the trees through all this wool. 

Woodpecker - Chippo. Was locked up for attempting to peck a hole in Saffex's mom's leg. He's just looking for warm hole to rest in, give the guy a break.

Leopard - Mike. He swears blind that these spots will change shape one day. We wait, patiently.

Condor - Felipe. You got to see him once. Be grateful FFS.

Zenkerella - Xavier. You've never heard of or seen this animal, right? Indeed, shrouded in mystery but word is that it has fur and a tail. 

Fiordland penguin - JW. The only animal from NZ worth talking about, even if only for the eyebrows and ungainly waddle.

Saffex's mum may not be referred to as WOOD!

Rather call me a Hopecker!

I'm trying to think of an animal that not only tries very hard to be funny and ends up embarrassing itself, but also tries to shove it's entire head up the arse of other animals it perceives as superior to itself.

Nothing is coming to mind. Any ideas? Anyone?

Perhaps an ostrich that puts its head in the sand because it thinks if it cant see, then no one else can see either. 

While an ostrich may personify ButtPlug's permanent state of self-delusion and his inability to entertain someone else's point of view, it doesn't really embody his other notable characteristic which is a servile and fawning desire to gain favour from others by ramming his dirty snout as far up their arses as he can.

We prefer the term "Elusive"

Manbearpig.

Yep, Saffex is more of a Wolf....in a good way ??

Er....don’t wolves have a lean and hungry look?

Wolves also have an air of danger around them......as well as being soft and cuddly.

Hahaha Dave you are nothing if not vain.

It’s very true. I’ve seen Saffex looking very lean indeed and have never seen him fat at all. 

Perhaps we should call him Cassius. But in my mind’s eye I’m still seeing Falstaff.

No he’s more of a Romeo, Mozart 

Please don't insult animals.

Except perhaps in that rude rugbysong we used to sing in youth. If some of you know it...it's very vulgar.."The Wild West Show" ...I can place some here...the Winkie-Wankie Bird, the Ooh_Ah_ Bird, Urang- Utang,,constipated Elephant etc...

Hahaha.