Beeno new theory of how the kiwis shot themselves in both feet

The Kiwis imagined they would be unbeatable if the game speeded up. Hence their efforts via the IRB were all aimed at speeding the game up.

Move the action away from those intimidating Bok forwards they figured and the game belongs to us. The argument was of course fundamentally flawed as they assessed Bok backline play on what it was and not on what it could potentially be. What if the Boks got their selections and coaching right?

However be that as it may the kiwis got their way and the rules were repeatedly changed to speed up the game.

With kiwis playing the kiwis many tries were scored. Look at us they shouted in glee see how pretty our netball rugby is!!! Some saffa rugby fans lacking in rugby acumen agreed immediately and wanted to follow suit with out pausing to think for a moment.

However the law of unintended consequences began to kick in. Sides saw the  kiws need to be shut down and that a slightly faster and fitter team was required. So teams got fitter and faster so they could catch the fast fleeing kiwi netball rugby players.

Now a strange thing happened. Rugby fields became smaller (kiwi coaches were actually seen by moonlight measuring rugby fields in an attempt to find a reason why they were smaller).  Players always seemed to be there to tackle the kiwi netball rugby proponents who would run from whatever ball they received!  The kiws became more frantic. They upped the tempo even more neglecting the power of their forward packs.  The ab packs were being outmuscled. There was nowhere to go.

One very wise rugby sage noting all this suggested after what should have been a rout at Dunedin that the writing was on the wall. Howls of kiwi indignation poured forth. Next the poms whipped the kiwis. Could the rugby sage have a point they wondered.

Next Oz wipped kiwi butts in the super 15 and only heavy injures prevented the sharks and Stormers doing the same every time

Still however they did not understand what was happening tlll Beeno said it was unkind not to explain to them the mystery of the shrinking rugby fields.

Hence this seminal piece. 

Beano..ob my.....friend a quick question, do you personally find the game a bit more entertaining now that it is a bit quicker and rules somewhat streamlined so that the ball is always moving? I'm just interested because there seems to be an aire of distain about game speed and it getting faster in your post.

Me myself...meh something’s i think are better, others not so much, BUT rugby is a game still not popular in many country’s and i do think that makings things simpler and faster will help the game make in roads on that that silly soccer game alot of people go on about.

I started losing interest in the second half of your post as you degenerated into the usual drivel, I've never heard 1 person say the all blacks will be number 1 forever, their just doin the same thing the springboks would do in their situation and try and stay no 1 for as long as they can and in some ways I agree with you, but the lessons the AB's need I think WILL only come from being knocked of their perch and in the long run they will be better for that.

Beano I'm a little worried about your obsession with size..... Has big beano only got a little bean? haahahahah habeanooooob!

Beeno and his conspiracy theories again, helped along by his wild imagination.

There is a body within the structures of the IRB, called the Rugby Committee. Jake White was a member of that committee until his appointment as the Brumbies coach. This committee is responsible for a numbet of functions, but the first four functions on the list are the following:

( i ) To Monitor the Laws of the Game and their effectiveness

( ii ) To Recommend to Council updates and changes to the Laws of the Games as necessary

( iii ) To Recommend to Council the three designated members who will be responsible for determining rulings in law when asked to do so by a Union

( iv ) To Track playing trends in world Rugby and monitoring the Laws and their effectiveness ensuring that the Game continues to be played according to the principles outlined in the Playing Charter

I have listed the names of the current members for you. There names aren't included on the IRB website, but I have included them for you for easy reference:

John Jeffrey (Chairman)-Scotland
 Bill Beaumont-England
 Giancarlo Dondi-Italy
 Michael Hawker-Australia
 Chris Le Fevre-Canada
 David Pickering-Wales
 Agustin Pichot-Argentina
 Koji Tokumasu-Japan
 Pat Whelan-Ireland
 Fabien Pelous-France
 Cheryl Soon-Australia

Now I do not see a single New Zealand member there. Do you? How could they have been isntrumental in changing the rules?

 Thanks ou windpom, I see you are moving up in the world and now are making waves as a stats man!

But windpomp are you suggesting the cuurent members have framed all the rules of rugby. If now what have you proved windpomp. Bwahahahahahahahahaha

 As for abnob well you should read the post more thought fully abnob! Dig about for the nuggets of gold. I didnt bury them too deep as that would have been unkind! Oimatey is actuallly picking up on one of my points.

Dont strain that lonely brain cell. 

Ou Beenbal, I have always been keen on stats, so nothing new there. You wouldn't want to be reminded how many times I have floored you with stats, do you? FYI, the Rugby Committee has not changed a lot in recent years. TBH, I had the previous committees somewhere, and specifically just prior to Jake White taking over at the Brumbies as well as shortly thereafter. I just cannot lay my finger on the link at the moment. The reason I had it was because I specifically checked up on that. Remember the Q & A that we used to have with Jake White? I specifically asked him about his role and how his role at the Brumbies was going to influence it. His reply was that he did not know, at the time, because he have not been in touch with the chairman yet. Even at that time, I think that there was only one NZ'er on the committee and Jake from SA. As you can see, neither us nor NZ have a representative on the current panel.

I think that I have proven more than you with your laughable and childish conspiracy theory.

 Haha Beeno - good stuff w/ the shrinking fields. Actually not far from the truth with even the front rowers of today being able to run. I have wondered aloud to others if they will at some point increase the allowable field dimensions in the name of opening up the game.

Not sure where you pull this stuff from - no wait, I don't want to know !

 Thanks oimatey but we all should know there are many ways to influence a committee no matter how its constituted. Ou windpomp, bless him, is naive in the ways of the world of course.

However bits and bytes brain windpomp has missed the essential insights of the post going off at a tangent on the kiwis involvement. The guy is barely human. He just doesnt really get it

A shrinking rubgy field is causing them some problems. Bigger faster fitter players. Everyone must be mobile. 

I was merely tring to give some assistance to our kiwi friends as always. Ask yourself why I pleaded with Hawka re the Etzebeth pictures etc etc etc

Got to laugh at ou Beenbal. Shrinking rugby pitches!!!!!!!!!!! What next? Special balls, with micro chips, that swings away from the posts when not kicked by certain kickers. Moving try-lines? Moving touch-lines? Someone once called you a raving lunatic.

 keep up with the pace of the game Beeno

 Windpomp you need further programming, your bits an bytes are not coping with a bit of theory. Bwahahahaha

Talk about being a  literalist!!!!!!

 Hakwa I am trying hard not too be too far ahead so as to become incomprehensible. I have clearly lost ou windpomp! 

"The Kiwis "imagined" (knew) they "would be" (ahem - would be?) unbeatable if the game speeded up (running rugby at it's very best). Hence their efforts via the IRB were all aimed at speeding the game up.

Move the action away from those intimidating (slow) Bok forwards"

Hawkwa I sense you are distoring my theory to your own devious ends.

Consider how difficult it is becoming to score tries etc. The rugby field today is congested. Forwards amongs the backs etc etc. Not only that every couple of minutes there is a penalty which the new rules facilitate.

However you may think running rugby is the be all and end all when it happens but crowds wouldnt agree with you. No moment in rugby that has the crowd more on edge and clamouring than the awesome rolling maul described by Justin marshall as an art form. (hakwa thats  the movement when the wee kiwis get pulverised by us and wish they had stayed home. Recall the sharks minues brutes like Bissie an Alberts palying with the wee chiefies)

No we have stepped up the anti and are slowly strangling the kiwi netball players. The Poms did as much at Twicks - recall that game hakwa.  Bet you do"

Kiwi recalling Twicks game:

See Hakwa that's how you use a picture in its proper context!!     

 Habana is such a good Hollywood actor - there is nothing to be ashamed about Beeno being beaten by eventual winners of the 2013 S15 Competition!    

2 hours ago

Have to agree, Habana's simulations today were disgraceful.

I would have liked to have seen Habana getting a yellow card for his antics . . . not because I can't stand the Hapless Stompies or their loud-mouthed Blowhard supporters, but because I don't want see to rugby going the same way that soccer has gone with all this diving and poor sportsmanship.

hakwa I suppose in you book that a low tackle! Its a wonder Habana wasnt sent off for getting his kneck in the way!!

Blues wont win it hakwa, sorry to have to be the one to tell you.

Rooiwit you complete blowhard if its not kiwi you cant stand it  - Bwahahahahahahaha

Baboon-ou, what part of the body is the "kneck"? Is it part of the "visog"?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!

@rooy,

"Have to agree, Habana's simulations today were disgraceful.
I would have liked to have seen Habana getting a yellow card for his antics . . . not because I can't stand the Hapless Stompies or their loud-mouthed Blowhard supporters, but because I don't want see to rugby going the same way that soccer has gone with all this diving and poor sportsmanship."

its something that im starting to see more and more of. habanas is actually on the lower end of the spectrum when it comes to that type of milking, i find willie le roux to be the worst, but have seen players from all three conferences do it which is a huge shame.

on the flip side though, ive seen some high tackles escape punishment, and given how close some of these games are, it can be very annoying when the rub of the green is not going ur way.

 rooiskunk they taught you that at preprimary! Perhaps you never made it that far. Bwahahahahhaha what a complete bonehead!

Rub of the green. Hahahhahaah