Welcome brethren!
It is indeed encouraging to see how this once-small congregation is swelling in number! A particularly warm welcome to any new converts to the Church of RooiTit And Porker, the bringers of light.
Another magnificent performance by our mighty Springboks. Rassie's Springboks are able to win against the odds time and again . . . and in great style. What courage and what character we withessed. Again!
Let us pray . . .
O Rassie, who art our great coach, we thank Thee for instilling the same never-say-die attitude in all Thy teams, even B teams missing the Anointed Ones PSdT and SFM.
We thank Thee for smiting the Pasta-gobblers, even after the injustices suffered by Powderpuff. May the stupid fucking TMO officials who ruled that a red card suffer the same pain and humiliation that our resident egg-faced Rassie heretics suffer.
Show Thy divine mercy to the heretics, the stupid fucking cunts who still take Thy name in vain, who dismiss Thy glorious victories as mere luck and who shriek with glee at Thy losses . . . although the sad fucks haven't had a lot to shriek about lately! Have pity on them and guide them towards the Church of RooiTit And Porker.
We ask this in the name of Springbok Rugby
A-fucking-men
I wouldn't want to be Rassie picking our best team right now with so many promising young Springboks putting up their hands . . . Canan Moodie, Edwill van der Merwe, Johan Grobbelaar, Morne van den Berg and Ethan Hooker knocking very hard at the door and giving Rassie some real selection headaches . . . but in a good way.
This is indeed the dawning of a new Golden Era of Springbok rugby. Our depth of talent is unmatched. But we have some wrongs to right. Do not forget the Dark Years. The years between isolation and Rassie's arrival were dark years where the great enemy - Die Manne Met Die Swart Truie - took full advantage of our weakened state and took a seemingly unassailable lead in the all-time Bok vs AB head-to-head . . . to the extent that even after our recent man-shamings of the great enemy, they are actually still 63-43 ahead in the contest. Cunts.
The Church of RooiTit And Porker will continue to preach the Gospel and shine the Light until the day our beloved Bokke overtake the great enemy and lead them once again in the head-to-head. We can rightly call ourselves the best team in the world right now, but we have a long way to go to be the best of all time. 63-43. That is an intimidating gap . . . but we have Rassie . . . and at least two Messiahs!
Let us sing praises . . . please turn your hymn books to #1511 . . .
Abide with me, Thou mighty blindside flank
We're number one, it's You we have to thank
Where tacklers fail we know that there You'll be
O Pieter-Steph I know that You'll abide with me.
We need Thy presence every single game
When You're not there, it isn't quite the same
The world's best player, You shall surely be
O Pieter-Steph I know that You'll abide with me.
Thank you.
Today's reading comes from the Gospel according to St Windhond, Chapter 32, Verse 14 . . .
And Yea, there shall walk among you non-believers . . . profoundly stupid cunts who refuse to even look towards the light. You shall know them by the egg they have on their tear-stained faces. Show them mercy and compassion, for as you take joy from a Springbok victory, they take despair. The next time you're punching the air with delight after a Springbok try, spare a thought for the stupid Rassie-hating cunt who just threw his beer at the TV and kicked the cat.
And with those words from the sacred book, we end this Sunday service of the Church of RooiTit And Porker. Thank you for your attendance and if you know anyone dumb enough to still be a non-believer, guide the poor fool to our Church. May Rassie be with you.
Oppie Bokke!!!.
A-fucking-men.