Church of RooiTit And Porker (CRAP) - Sunday 23 Nov . . .

Good morning parishioners. Welcome to the Church of RooiTit And Porker on this beautiful Sunday morning. Our numbers continue to swell as the lost heathens begin to see the Light of Rassie and PSdT.

Let us pray . . .

O Rassie, what joy You bring to Springbok rugby fans. Another wonderful victory that cements the Bokke's status as the best rugby team in the world. We apologise for the fucking stupid cunts who still take Thy name in vain . . . they know not what they are talking about and they have even more egg all over their faces.

We thank you for this long-awaited victory over the uppity spud-munchers and it made a welcome change to see the cards going the other way for once. One more victory against the hapless Welsh and this will be the greatest Springbok tour since 1951/2.

Bring us that victory Rassie.

We ask this in the name of Springbok Rugby.

A-fucking-men.

Another weekend, another glorious Springbok victory. Sacha's try was sensational and the other Anointed One - Pieter-Steph du Toit - worked as tirelessly as ever and the great warrior still found time to appear on the wing a few times . . . our very own version of Jonah Lomu!

One has to have compassion for the stupid fucking cunts who still spread the word of the devil. The poor cunts would have been throwing things at the TV set, kicking the dog and screaming at their wives and kids every time the Boks scored. Not to mention the sheer volume of egg these clowns have to wipe off their stupid faces with every victory by Rassie's glorious Springboks.

Let us sing our praises . . . please turn to hymn #370 . . .

What a coach we have in Rassie

All our Springbok dreams come true

We all see You as our Saviour

All, but for the stupid few.

O what joy the heathens forfeit,

O what pain they have to bear

All because they do not join us

In thanking Rassie in prayer

Wonderful! That was sung with pride and gusto by real Springbok rugby fans.

Today's scripture reading is from the Book of Revelations, Chapter 24, Verse 13 . . .

And there will come a pompous and conceited old drunkard with a forked tongue and the emotional maturity of a 5 year old. He will surround himself with grovelling Servile Gimps who worship their false god and help to spread his falsehoods. You will know them by all the egg on their stupid faces. Shun them for they are deserving of ridicule and contempt.

And with that, we end today's lesson. Thank you for your attendance and see you next weekend!

Come on Bokke!

A-fucking-men!

Irrevant of course but so true in many respects.

Surprised you know that great hymn What a Friend we have in Jesus Rooitwit!

Be careful though Rooitwit the Mamparas Union get highly agitated and very upset if anybody criticizes them. They are of course beyond reproach!

Nice hymn RooiTit. :-)

Aaaah, beware brothers and sisters, of the Church of Desperation and Delusion.

Today we gather to witness a holy alliance forged not by principle, but by sheer need for attention.

Observe as Has Been, self proclaimed moral crusader, abandons his imaginary pulpit the moment a louder circus opens next door.

See how swiftly the righteous conveniently forget their sermons when the Vile clown RooiTit, offer them a front row seat.

And behold DbDraad, faithful "squeaky toy" of the CRAP congregation, finally finding a new master to squeak for.

After a decade of being the Vile Preacher RooiTit’s verbal chew toy, publicly humiliated, ridiculed and toyed with, he now waddles in smiling, tail wagging, grateful for a pat on the head.

Loyalty through humiliation. What a shame…

Have more self-respect, Brother Draad. You deserve it…

Let us reflect.

Blessed are the noisy, for they shall inherit nothing.

Blessed are the hypocrites, for they shall always cry victim while throwing stones.

This “church” does not preach rugby. It preaches ego.

It does not celebrate victory. It worships validation.

It does not unite fans. It manufactures enemies to stay relevant.

And what of Has Been, our wandering False prophet?

One week reborn, the next week revelling in vulgar parody, baptised not in wisdom but in attention.

A man so thirsty to be heard he will echo any madness as long as someone claps.

Let us bow our heads in silent pity for those who confuse sarcasm with intelligence, volume with authority, and mob noise with humour.

Go forth, O Congregation of CRAP, and squeak, shout and sermonise into the void.

In the name of Reason, Self-Respect and Actual Rugby Discussion.

A-fucking-men

I see Mampara power suffering his 19 th nervous breakdown. The poor mampara is completely unhinged. Bwahahahahahaha.

Shame, the poor sensitive little dear is very upset that you and Draad responded on my thread. giMp is feeling betrayed, victimised and inadequate all at the same time.

LMAO!

I'd suggest he gets a sense-of-humour transplant but it would just lead to more shrill squawking and foot-stamping.

Bwahahhahahahahaha ou Mampara Power is laugh a minute! Definitely a very servile gimp. Mamparas generally are.

Has been, when someone points out your hypocrisy and your only response is hysterical laughter and personal insults, you prove the point far better than I ever could.

You claim moral authority, yet your default setting is mockery and degradation.

No scripture, no wisdom, no rebuttal. Just noise.

That is not a nervous breakdown. That is exposure.

And the saddest part? You still think you sound clever…

Funny how quickly the self appointed comedians turn into drama therapists the moment their hypocrisy gets pointed out:)

One minute it’s coordinated mockery, the next it’s “just jokes” and “sense of humour” lectures.

That’s not humour, that’s damage control.

What I am actually seeing here, is two posters who have spent years sniping at each other, suddenly discovering “friendship” purely for the convenience of a shared target.

Nothing screams desperation louder than enemies locking arms just to feel relevant…shame Poof Poof red cheeks…:)

And let’s not pretend this is about banter. It’s about ego survival. About deflection.

About drowning out exposure with volume and fake laughter.

The real humour is watching people who have openly insulted and undermined each other now perform unity like a cheap stage act.

That isn’t camaraderie. That’s panic wrapped in noise.

You can laugh, bark, and echo each other all you like.

No amount of “LMAO” or "Bwahahahaha", will disinfect the stench of transparent hypocrisy.

Carry on, gentlemen. The performance is noted …:)

O what joy the heathens forfeit,

O what pain they have to bear

All because they do not join us

In thanking Rassie in prayer

In thanking Rassie in prayer

This line is missing a beat…..put ‘now’ in there and it flows properly. To make it work as it stands you have to create three beats out of Rassie. Always there to help, just call on me.

I still prefer the original:

1 What a friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.

2 Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged,

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we fi nd a friend so faithful

Who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness,

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

3 Are we weak and heavy-laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Saviour, still our refuge,

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?

Take it to the Lord in prayer,

In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,

Thou wilt find a solace there.

Please note that plagiarizing the holy hymns of the Church of RooiTit And Porker and then fucking changing the words so as to make them about some other fake deity could result in excommunication.

...arrr frk, there goes the harmony!!! :-(

...that hymn has been playing in my mind since yesterday morning...

PS, there's an Afrikaans version too.

I prefer:

Immortal, invisible god only wise

In light inaccessible hid from our eyes

Most blessed, most glorious, the ancient of days

Almighty, victorious thy great name we praise