BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 14:14#1
I have here an outline a a potentially really good poem. Its just needs a little polish from an experienced poet like yourself. Please note oaks i am not asking for the input of anyone else!!
ODE TO GLEN JACKSON:There was a bent ref called Jackson,Who blew saffa sides to the maxim!His beady eye roamed far and wideTo find a penalty for his side.The offside law he couldn't abide,especially when it favoured his side.There was a bent ref called Jackson,Who one day will get the maxim,Like Bryce Lawrence of yore Let' s get rid of this bore!!!!!
DBDbDraad
Captain26,388 posts
DBDbDraadCaptain26,388 posts
06 Aug 2016, 14:17#2
change maximum for maxi m....poetic freedom?
Good effort Beenz!
JWJust_win
Captain18,570 posts
JWJust_winCaptain18,570 posts
06 Aug 2016, 14:21#4
Beeno, you do need a doctor but one with a degree in psychiatry. I recommend a straight-jacket combined with electric shock treatment & endless viewing of the rules of rugby. Patience is called for so this treatment could take a life time. We are prepare d to wait for results.
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 14:21#5
Draad given your poetic sensibilities i would consider adding a verse from you if you can maintain the high stan dard already set?
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 14:22#6
JW I thought you were firmly strapped in for the night. not reading quality poetry!
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 14:41#7
Where is the good Dr Moz when you need him!
DBDbDraad
Captain26,388 posts
DBDbDraadCaptain26,388 posts
06 Aug 2016, 15:00#8
Jantjies should have kicked,but he passed!Oh what'n ass!Mapoe tried to repair, but Jane caught his kick with flair....and the Canes were 10 ahead in their lair.
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 15:05#10
While we are at it Moz we need some integration of this verse with the above:
There was a dainty flyhalf called Beau, Who once slotted two goals in a row!He never got hit as he off loaded to others That took his big hits as though they were brothers!Beau skipped and he danced with never a care,His smile broad and wide with never a scare.Until one day he met a young KrielAnd learned it was hard om rugby te speel!
06 Aug 2016, 15:06#11
.... and scored the winning try
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 15:11#12
Draad you poem is far too dark and off track. It lacks poetic flair and there is poor rhythm as Dr Moz I am confident will confirm.
DBDbDraad
Captain26,388 posts
DBDbDraadCaptain26,388 posts
06 Aug 2016, 15:11#13
And why oh why oh whymust there always in the ointment, be a Kiwi fly!
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 15:13#14
Draad much better you are getting there!!This becoming poets corners!
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
06 Aug 2016, 15:13#15
A nyhow time for yours truly to relax as its been a trying time refuting all the kbbs errors!
DBDbDraad
Captain26,388 posts
DBDbDraadCaptain26,388 posts
06 Aug 2016, 15:14#16
Beenz, I'm no poet, I was hoping you lot can structure my poor attempts. Well educated folks like you and Moz should be able to pollish my tomfoolery.
JWJust_win
Captain18,570 posts
JWJust_winCaptain18,570 posts
06 Aug 2016, 17:19#17
There was a wee chap called Jantjieswho was said to crap his pantiesIn spite of skills his temperament kills& the wee Lions were sent packing
But seriously, the Lions played very well and it was a pretty even game. The ref was fine IMO. Jant jies was under pressure all night from the defensive line. On his kicks at goal, he should have punched them low & hard.
Congrats to the Canes, their defense did not allow a try in the playoffs. There was no need for them to try the 50/50 passes they played within themselves.
06 Aug 2016, 17:47#18
A pride of lions went down-underby a hurricane ,rent asunder ,a lion-skin rug the floor it drapes,upon which Barrett now fornicates....Fixed it beandik.
JWJust_win
Captain18,570 posts
JWJust_winCaptain18,570 posts
06 Aug 2016, 18:20#19
Beeno celebrates another loss with prose & lyrics
Has anyone told him he's not plugged in (pun intended)
BEBeeno1
Captain40,032 posts
BEBeeno1Captain40,032 posts
07 Aug 2016, 13:56#20
Bwahahahahah ou JW in full denial. Go and read what Plum and I wrote under Moz's thread about the data point re J antjes. Read an learn JW its time we saw some progress!