MOMozart
Captain49,914 posts
MOMozartCaptain49,914 posts
15 May 2019, 16:51#1
Many Bok players are potential greats, except for one missing element. Now with the news that the Chinese have used the gene editing tool Crispr to modify embryos....we can speculate on the modifications needed to have created a better Bok team at the 2015 WC:
Willie.....the neural pathway for right foot kicking to supplement the left foot.
Habana....another 3 inches to be the perfect high ball chaser.
Jessie Kriel....another 30 IQ points
Allende....another 40 IQ points and peripheral vision.
JP Peterson......10 more metres in 10 seconds.
Pollard.....10% more upper body strength for tackling.
F du Preez.....nothing needed
Beast....10% more in the squat.
Bismarck...5 % less aggression
Fatty Malherbe....same weight, 50% lower fat percentage....less top heavy physique
Etzebeth.....5% less aggression....the ability to run and pass
Victor.....a slower genetic clock, taking him back 5 years, 2% scale up
Schalk Burger....a bullet proof 2004 fetcher's neck
Willem Alberts 10 more metres over 100.
Duane Vermeulen....the ability to convey effort in all the stuff he makes look effortless.
.......
Those changes would have been enough.
sharkbok
Captain23,251 posts
sharkbokCaptain23,251 posts
16 May 2019, 09:31#9
Clevermike as a rugby fan can have genetically enhanced eyes to see the whole match, and a new objectivity cortex to assess it.
16 May 2019, 11:01#10
“Posted by: Plum (3725 posts)
May 15, 2019, 17:36
I say let's clone Kwagga 23 times and see if anyone can keep up.
While we're at it...let's do the same with Kallis.”
Even better. Merge Kallis and Clive Rice and then clone him. That will give you all the (enhanced) skills combined with great captaincy as well.
MOMozart
Captain49,914 posts
MOMozartCaptain49,914 posts
16 May 2019, 14:42#11
Objection .....cloning is not permitted in the latest IRB rules. Otherwise every scrumhalf would be Joost van der Westhuizen.
RORooinek
Captain18,117 posts
RORooinekCaptain18,117 posts
16 May 2019, 20:13#14
I'm limiting myself to current players:
15 Curwin Bosch: 50% more courage in the tackle.
14 Aphiwe Dyantyi: Another 5cm and another 10 kg.
13 Jesse Kriel: Agree with Moffie. Another 30 IQ points.
12 Andre Esterhuizen: .5 seconds faster over 100m
11 Sbu Nkosi: A Better tackling technique. It may not be a problem that can be solved by genetics but he also needs a bit of luck . . . or else find some other way to get more involved in the game.
10 Handre Pollard: An offload.
9 Faf de Klerk: A better boot . . . or even better, less inclination to use the boot.
8 Dan du Preez: Not much. Better hands perhaps but it's a myth that he has butterfingers.
7 Jean Luc du Preez: Better hands.
6 Kwagga Smith: Another 3cm and 5kg.
5 Pieter-Steph du Toit: An offload!
4 Eben Etzebeth: If there's one player who doesn't need anything in the physical department it's Etzebeth . . . but he does need anger management classes and like Nkosi, he needs to find a way to get more involved.
3 Trevor Nyakane: Stamina.
2 Malcolm Marx: Nothing, no physical or genetic changes required.
1 Liza Gqoboka: Stronger thighs.
If my team is not sufficiently representative then Lukhanyo Am for Kriel assuming Am hesitates less and becomes more instinctive . . . again, not sure that something genetics can solve.
Nice post Moffie.
PS I was quite close between Kwagga Smith and Siya Kolisi for the fetcher role. If Kolisi could have a genetic modification it would be a white skin because he's hugely underrated and very unfairly categorised as a quota.
PPS Jaco Kriel was arguably our best fetcher when he was playing here. Not sure if he's maintained those standards since his departure but I wouldn't complain if he was given the #6 jersey.
PPPS Steven Kitshoff and Wilco Louw/Carlu Sadie are obvious considerations for #1 and #3 respectively but Louw and Sadie both need more athleticism in general play while Kitshoff needs a different hair colour. No-one likes a ginger!
sharkbok
Captain23,251 posts
sharkbokCaptain23,251 posts
16 May 2019, 22:36#15
Kolisi could be genetically enhanced with Nigerian genes, to help steal possession more effectively. Nigeria is an untapped natural resource of special fetchers.
RORooinek
Captain18,117 posts
RORooinekCaptain18,117 posts
16 May 2019, 22:47#16
"Nigeria is an untapped natural resource of special fetchers."
Indeed.
I have a son-in-law who was trained in the Russian combat art of Systema. His mentor was a Russian who was living in South Africa with dodgy paperwork who took a holiday in Russia and couldn't get back into the country because his passport wasn't legit. They paid the local Nigerian "mafia" to pull some strings and Vadim strolled through local custom s as passport control staff looked the other way and he collected a new "legit" SA passport from the last "teller" which allows him to live here "legally".
I know that's a lot of "quotes" but that's how the Nigerians operate. Pay them enough and they can do pretty much anything you need them to do in this country.
sharkbok
Captain23,251 posts
sharkbokCaptain23,251 posts
17 May 2019, 00:24#17
True, the Nigerians are ingenious at crime. They offer degrees in Nigeria for bank fraud economics and money laundering accounting, as well as IT hacking for hackers. It is pretty bizarre how a technologically backward place is capable of cracking most computer systems.
-The Diesel Twins could be more flexible to be able to touch their toes - so to be able to contribute at the ruck. Or turn one of them into a smaller fetcher- as playing them both in the same team leaves it weak at the base of the ruck.
--Delande, is the perfect physical specimen for the modern game, with all the hardware but no software. I am not sure if his brain genetics could be enhanced, or it may be easier to just start with a new installation.
--Ezetebeth could have two heads, so if/when one loses its cool, the other one could still be functional.
-Flab Malherbe could have a better balance to stop his belly flopping and continual injuries from this action.
MOMozart
Captain49,914 posts
MOMozartCaptain49,914 posts
17 May 2019, 16:12#25
Plum....google Pieter Hugo photographer , there are plenty of animals on the streets in Nigeria.....baboons and hyenas. This guy is a very cool artist, check it out.
Funny about District 9 ....Blob.
