Einna, Lucky I read the entire post or else my favourite lamb (never understood the fetish for old mutton) was going to get a thorough klap followed by some two fisted loving but since I often pimp my top shelf, virgin lambs to NZ refereeing hierarchy for criminally exorbitant sums (no doubt earned through their infalliable TAB tips) common sense prevailed. After all, "Ram your own Lamb industries" is the greatest provider of NZ Rugby trophies since SA's broederbond era in addition to financing my yachting dalliance. Some ignorant doofus insists on it being labeled the Americas cup thingy. A few more weeks and the sailing elite will be idolising the sacred sheep for yet another claim of sports oldest and most coveted yachting prize.
Anyways, i digress, You do know that King Richies name must never be uttered by the lesser beings from foreign lands or else they tempt great plagues of biblical proportions. When opposing fanboys dare mention King Richies hallowed name in a blasphemous manner, the penalty will be swift, severe and harsh.......ie a 90% chance of a good ol' fashioned hiding. Just ask 0% win rate Michelin Man McKenzie OR cant spot talent younger than 30 Heyneke Meyer. Mind you, he cant spot talent older than 30 either. Regardless of their innumerable faults, Referees are often blinded to King Richies wholesome infractions thanks to an army of AB supporters working to stun the NEUTRAL ref with a barrage of camera flashes and lamb erotica.
Undetectable soporifics genetically developed from lamb foetus' are often clandestinely slipped into opposite teams energy drinks although research has shown that SAn teams are so pedestrian and tiresome, that we gave up on trying to spike their halftime beverages decades ago. No noticeable benefits were observed save for an unjustifiable belief in their mythical Physical Domination. The experiment was soon abandoned although we still humour them when they talk about the Physical Prowess. Ja, ja, Frikus Visser, You are so big and strong and amazingly powerful. There's no way a lightweight like Cory Jane or Benjamin Smith could ever get around you. ....mmmm?
However, we have discovered that the reverse is true for Australia. Yet another undetectable miracle sheep extract is used to speed them up. Will Genias 2 and a half pirouettes per pass may look dainty and recherché to his insouciant metrosexual team mates, and some of their Saffa fanboys may even bite the metro bullet and proffess admiration for Aussies cheap imitation of NZED rugby but to the genuine sheep loving Kiwis, arm flapping prancing men in overly tight “muscle” shirts is as good an advertisement for the effeminate Aussie psyche as you'll ever bear to witness to.
So, I'm off to sleep. I have my pre RC debrief with Brycie in the morning. I promised to dress two lambs in SA and Australian regalia. Not sure how he'll tell them apart. I thought I'd paint the fattest, slowest and worst tackler in SA garb and the Aussie lamb; like all lambs will pronk and prance about, making a big scene of himself, promising lots but delivering nothing.
Well, I'm pissed off you enjoyed your stay in NZ. Next thing you know Saffas and Kiwis will be best of mates having weekend Braais, boerewors and eating melktert together whilst waiting for the next rugger match. Just don't ask me to eat mieliepap and biltong and I won't ask you to eat kina, lambflaps( don't ask) and huhu grubs. But.....I'll happily drink your beer. NZ beer is Shite. Too many trendy microblends and overpriced boutiques and to many ubiquitous beers from commercial wholesalers that appear to be following the same recipe.
Next time your in the country, don't be a stranger. My wife's a Saffer and makes the yummiest bar one sauce and a great mint slice. My in laws gave me an address for "yummy" biltong" but I accidentally dropped it out the window as I was crossing the harbour bridge.
Anyways, my wife's trying to convince me to go and see Transkei but I'm vacillating . between Kruger and Namibia but we have a wedding in Zim in a few months so Kruger looks more likely. we better decide shortly. Foreign exchange coming here must of sucked. Mind you, can't say I've ever met a poor Saffer unless you count Die Entwoord's white trash Zef stylers.
