PdV to Coetzee

'Look brother jy wet mos niks' 
 'How so Pieter ' 
 'Well brother it works like this. You start your 4 years by selecting exactly what those morons in the stands want' 
'And what is that Pieter' 

 'A team with all those CC heroes who beat up on other CC heroes....lighties man.....none of those old professionals they hate'
 'But then I will lose'
 'Eina man, that's the point, you give them what they want and lose. Then they get upset and maak assof they didn't really want them'
 'So what's next Pieter'
 'Well then you bring back the real players and if they lose 'n bietjie then those morons will leave you alone to get things right' 
 'Hell why didn't I think of that?' 
Ag Coetzee you are too worried about what the okes think. You have to play these whities, Hulle is maar n dom klomp. You have to look after yourself man. Nothing matters for the first 3 years anyway.' 
 'I think I'll try it'. 
 'Start with this team, it's never too late to get the lighties out the way.... 
 Gelant 
 Ulenga 
 Vartster  
 Stepfontein or Janse Combrink 
 Lambie....got to get this Lambie at 10 thing over 
 Faf or Reinach 
 Redlinghuis 
 Marx 
 Dillon Smith 
 Mostert 
 Stephanie.....you always get triple brownie points for Steph, nee brownie is not racist
 Kriel....that's the mother load, long as you pick Kriel you are golden, gotta love the kleintjie
 Whiteley man, there's your Captain Cretaceous' 
 'Hell PdV that is truly a horrible team, we will lose big time' 
 'Ag Ja wat, but that's the beauty of the scheme, the bigger you lose the more those dumb buggers will shut up'

 The funny thing is,
with that kind of team SA would have actually fought and tried to win this match...that's the type of team that doesn't quit, and that's the spirit that the Springboks need right now.

 Quacky, yes the Boks did not have the fighting spirit of old, Henry made the same point. To me the problem is that the players don't seem to believe in the game plan or each other. The most positive thing I can say about the situation is hopefully it's a case of hitting bottom & building the team culture & spirit up again. Not the preferred way for sure.
Good piece Mozart

 After the All Black test PdV calls Coetzee again..
'Hey sekkie hoe gaan dit'
'Man things couldn't be worse, after the game some fan left a 10 day old Snook on my porch'
'How did it taste...hehe....no man that's heavy. How long did it take the missus to clean it up?'
'Ag no get serious man what advice do you have PdV and don't give me that lose first bs, Proudfoot isn't buying that. In any case what players did you pick you knew were going to bomb?'
'Well I gave everybody their favorites.....the Bools loved me when I picked that long haired slug Wynand. I knew the bugger would bomb when the git gassed him like he was a stop sign. And all the English blokes were so excited when I picked the Bulimic, that alone bought me four tests....stupid man'
'So you really did it?'
'For sure man, and then when the public asked for the WC team I picked them and hit Cliffies....hell of a deal those Boere actually managed themselves'
'But you were stuck with Pierre Spies?'
'Nothing is perfect, ou Spiesie was pretty useless but the manne liked him and he always called me meneer'
'So it's that simple?'
'Well  nie heeltemal nie.....I also had Jake White's team, hate the blerrie name but that whitie could build a team' 

'And I had Heinrich Meyer'
'Ja old Heineken had it right and then Pollard scored those tries and Lammetjie surprised himself with that kick and ou Heinrich thought he was Nelson Mandela"
'It went to his head?'
'Blerrie right it went to his head, man have you seen the size of that thing and square as a box. That one has to have some brains but hy is net soos jy, too keen to be liked. Ek gee niks om nie....they can maar hate me, as long as the cheque is in the mail. 
'So it's just about the money?'
'Wat die vlok els ou maat, you think I get my jollies shaking hands with those fat ANC ministers?'
'You have given me a lot to think about'
Don't think Coetzee, leave that to okes like Houwig who think they are smart, just wait for my next phone call'.
'Ja meneer'

Oh brother ... what next??
The pompous ass thinks he's a comic.

That is truly cringeworthy. Possibly the unfunniest thing I've ever read. To think he actually took time to type that up!

 The first rendition was tough enough to get through . 
I just couldn't manage the sequel.
I hope this isn't a trilogy.

Yeah, if I was in the  movie biz....could see some potential here (PDV & AC)....


 Mutt and Jeff, Abbott and Costello, Kiewiet en Bakkies or Laurel and Hardy or add Gary Gold and call them The Three Stooges.

Or Lush and Carbuncle...... 
 'Iv'e read 16 of these dialogues Carbuncle and I still can't get the humour' 
 'Me neither Lush, and is this a real conversation, I mean did this really happen?' 
 'Could be I suppose, we have to be careful Moffie has made us look stupid so often, best keep our powder dry' 
'Powder, what powder? Are you on the white stuff again L ush?' 

 'Never mind.....sniff....that's better, I wonder if he is going to post version 17' 
 'Maybe I'll get that one' 
 Lush as an aside...'not likely' 
 'I mean I asked all the okes in the Denotter bar and they never got it either, could it be Cape humour or maybe just not Denotter humour Lush?'
 'Not Denotter humour, not denot......bwaaaaaaaaaaaaha........LMAOFY'
 'Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha.......tooo funny'

 You need help.
I've already suggested a home with round the clock care. 
They would see to it that you sit in a clean diaper most of the day.

 

What Moffie needs to understand is that he adds plenty of humour to this site already . . . but only when he's being serious. It's when he tries to be funny that the wheels come off and everyone cringes in embarrassment.

Watching Moffie getting pwned by ou Maaik every day is hilarious while the attempt above is about as funny as a root c@ nal.

'Bob's your uncle'......no. I forgot your uncle is the chap with the daft gene.....bwaaaaaaaahahahaha.

 Yeah... so true. I think he may have had a little too much wine at lunch and thought he'd have us all in stitches.
Truly an awful attempt at humour. It's bad enough that we have to watch him get embarrassed everyday by Mike. 
Look at the above post. What the fcku's he on about now?
Smacks of desperation.
Have you noticed how he always has to have the last word?... and then when he's stumped and can't think of anything suited to the conversation he'll come up with things like
 ... "Bob's your uncle'......no. I forgot your uncle is the chap with the daft gene.....bwaaaaaaaahahahaha." 
Find a home, Mozart. It's for the best, man.