Quoteas win toss and put England in . . .

AB has forgotten the golden rule . . . win toss, bat first!

Admittedly it's less critical in ODIs than in tests and batting 2nd worked for us last game . . . but still . . .

 Finally.....a cricket post....WOW Rooitjies you're on the move....perhaps you can add some content to the next one!

 Hahaha another early mouth classic from the Mong who knows nothing about pitches and the power of precedent.

Have a look at the first line of his post.......it pretty much sums up the total ignorance of the blithering Buffoon. Here, I'll paste it again...
AB has forgotten the golden rule . . . win toss, bat first!

Hell, I simply don't now where to start tearing this one apart!
Firstly a so-called Golden Rule does not exist with regards to winning the toss and  batting first, I mean if that was true then EVERY captain who wins the toss automatically bats first.....that's just laughable. Why then in the cricketing world do captains who win the toss decide not to bat first!?Why then prior to the game do captains do a pitch inspection?
There is only one rule......the reading of the pitch pretty much dictates what the captain decides to do when he wins the toss.
This posts has well and truly exposed his ignorance and it's no wonder he lurks and then pounces playing the man not the ball.....hy weet fokol!
No surprises to me, it pretty much confirms my suspicions.

 Or perhaps he meant..." win, toss bat first"....who knows what's going on in that alcohol befuddled brain.

 Then this little gem....
"Admittedly it's less critical in ODIs than in tests...."

How more can anyone compound his ignorance!?
In the condescend version, Fool.....the pitch has just as much impact!
That's why captains inspect the pitch so that they can gain the most advantage from the pitch whether that be batting first or second on the day!

 Pssstttttt UrineRooi, Could you be so kind as to explain the logic behind what you call the "Golden Rule"....and also where and when did the Golden Rule originate from?
Tx in anticipation.

"Pssstttttt UrineRooi, Could you be so kind as to explain the logic behind what you call the "Golden Rule"....and also where and when did the Golden Rule originate from?
Tx in anticipation."

Okay, just for the cricket noob . . . do you know who WG Grace is? If no, go look him up on Wikipedia or Google or something. If yes, well, here's a quote of his from around the time he was playing . . . "When you win the toss – bat. If you are in doubt, think about it, then bat. If you have very big doubts, consult a colleague – then bat."

I know as a noob to the game this is all very new to you but people have been talking about this for over a hundred years. You see, most people know that the pitch is nearly always . . . hang on, do you know what the pitch is, Dense? Yes? Okay then, most people know that the pitch is in the best condition on the first day and in the most difficult condition on the last day of a test match. I realise that someone like you who has never actually held a cricket bat in his life doesn't really get why it's harder to bat on a worn pitch than a new pitch but you'll have to either verify that using Google again or else take my word for it.

I hope you have found this useful. When you want to know more advanced things like which end of the bat to hold or which wickets you should bowl the ball at then just ask. I live to give.

There you go, little chap . . . run along now.

 do you know who WG Grace is?
WG Grace huh? Now what century did he play in? .....go ahead I'll allow you to tell us.
Tx for the laugh.

Dense, I know you're a very stupid individual but please note I am responding to your question "where did the Golden Rule originate from?"

Let me know when that particular penny has dropped and we can move forward from there.

Another sulky and sullen silence ensues as Dense tries to pretend I wasn't answering the exact two questions that he asked.

Do you know who WG Grace is.......waaaaaaaaaaaahahaha. Another pompous post from the needy snob. Let me see, I'm guessing he was a friend of Old Tom Morris. LMAOFY!

 dense denise is never funnier than when this abject clown is trying seriously to be smart. Bwahahahahahahahaha 

So Urinal if Denny is dumb as you claim, but he thrshed you at chess, what does that make you pissmint?

 Wasnt it Bradman who said'if you win the toss then bat first .If you have doubts about the pitch think about it then bat first ,if you have big doubts about it consult a colleague then bat first " or something like that ...

"Thrshed"?
Moffie, quite apart from the fact that prowess at chess has no bearing on intelligence (just as the ability to do some basic calculus equation has no bearing on intelligence . . . in fact only a very stupid person would think otherwise), why don't you ask your Gimp Dense to answer the question he so studiously avoided on this thread?
Maybe if you do and he finally summons up the courage to answer the question honestly you'll understand who exactly was "thrshed".
LMAO!

 Maybe if you do and he finally summons up the courage to answer the question honestly you'll understand who exactly was "thrshed".

Porkchop, listen-up, just post the results of you thrashing me....simple enough for you?
I know you can't so just shut your trap and eat humble pie.
And ermm ummm feel free to ask for coaching lessons....ok?

Are you saying the 5-0 drubbing in the face-to-face games didn't happen, Dense? Don't you remember, you were saying things like "I always have a better position than you but you end up winning . . . sniff . . . whine . . . sob!"

Wehe, you can pretend to your Master and your fellow Gimps that it didn't happen but you and I both know that it did . . . and we both know for a fact that you are a repulsive and low class liar.

LMAO!

"Wasnt it Bradman who said'if you win the toss then bat first .If you have doubts about the pitch think about it then bat first ,if you have big doubts about it consult a colleague then bat first " or something like that ..."

Problem is so many of these cricket quotes (and sledges) are attributed to many different cricketers. I'm reasonably sure this particular quote was made by WG Grace . . . if you Google something like "win toss quote" it certainly points to WG Grace . . . but I really wouldn't be at all surprised if another all time great like Sir Donald Bradman subscribed to the same "win toss bat first" principle.

I have seen the following excellent sledge attributed to a number of batsman including Ian Botham, Viv Richards and Brian Lara: The bowler, [insert name of legendary test bowler here], was bowling to the new batsman [Botham/Richards/Lara etc, take your pick] who kept playing and missing the edge. Annoyed at not getting a nick, the bowler says to the batsman "it's red and it's round, now hit the bloody thing". Next ball the batsman smacks him over the ropes for a six and says to the bowler "you know what it looks like, now go find it".

My two favourite cricket sledges are the well-known exchange between Glenn McGrath and the rather portly Zimbabwean Eddo Brandes when McGrath asked him "why are you so fat" to which Brandes replied "because every time I f@ck your wife she gives me a biscuit".

The other brilliant sledge was when when Shane Warne was bowling to the equally portly Arjuna Ranatunga and couldn't entice him out of his crease. At one point he shouted in frustration "what do I need to do to to get you to come forward" to which wicket-keeper Ian Healy replied, "try putting a Mars Bar on a good length!"

 The Marsh Botham exchange is a well known one  Marsh to Botham "hows your missus and my kids ?" ...."The wifes fine the kids are retarded "Or Javed Mianded to Merv Hughes " you look like a fat bus conductor " on getting Miandad out Hughes runs past calling "Tickets please !"Viv Richards belted Hughes for four consecutive boundaries but Vivvy didnt know what to do when Merv farted and said " lets see yer hit that to the boundary !!"Or when Jardine moaned to the Aussie skipper about being called a bas.tard " Ok you bastards which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard ?"I read once that Dr Grace on being clean bowled for a duck refused to leave the wicket stating that " the crowd has come to see me bat not you bowl " 

Not a sledge, but something I'll never forget. When Steve and Mark Waugh were still playing for the Aussies, the Aussie team was walking out to the field and a South African fan held up a sign board with the following message "Steve and Mark, your mother' s a Waugh!" Nearly shat myself laughing!   

Cullinan was well known as being a bit of a bunny to Warne's bowling. The 2 hadn't played each other in some time so when Cullinan walked out to bat, Warne couldn't resist heckling him: "I've been waiting two years for another chance at you". Cullinan got him back with a ripper: "Looks like you spent it eating..."

Duplicate

 Wee Warnie never met a Tim-Tam or English actress that he didnt like.Poor Daryl that was as close as he got to hitting Warne out of the ground.

"Problem is so many of these cricket quotes (and sledges) are attributed to many different cricketers. I'm reasonably sure this particular quote was made by WG Grace . . . if you Google something like "win toss quote" it certainly points to WG Grace . . ."

I'm not overly confinced that it was Grace' quote. What I do know is that there is one quote that is definitely his. He was given out LBW (IIRC) and he said to the umpire: "These people have come to see me bat and not to see you umpire, so let's play on", and they carried on playing.

 Thats probably the quote Im thinking of .Sometimes one just cant be arsed gagoogling .

Didn't need to gagoogle it WD. I took a tour of Lords' and heard it there for the first time. I have pictures of Grace' statue at Lords'. I did the Wimbledon, Twickenham and Emirate ones as well but Lords' was by far the best, followed closely by the Emirates.

 Not a sledge but a good laugh.
So Muhammed Azhruddin gets bowled in the nuts and while he's writhing around in total agony, Dessie Haynes saunters upto him and says...
Hey good looking, what's the phone number of that blonde you're taking out tonite?

 When I lived in Adelaide my girlfriend  and I had a friend who was ahhh umm wee Desmonds bit of other when he was in port .Big bloke nice feller funny as .He got the Windies to sign one of those wee bats for my son ,but as some bits were a bit naughty I had to keep it safe like .Not safe enough though as my ex wife burnt it and tossed out all my stuff when I wandered out of the crease as it were .With previously mentioned  GF. Y'all can say what you want about the ex or demon hag from the 9th level of hell sent here to make me suffer as I call her.

 So the Windies were walking across Sydney Harbour Bridge after a night out and stopped for a pee over the side .Viv Richards says " Man that waters cold !"Joel Garner says " And deep too mon !"

There's also this one. Batter comes in and is told "You are looking much fatter than the last time I saw you." He replies "Yeah, your wife gives me a biscuit every time I fk her."

Back to the top of the Board with this rugby topic.

Listen stupidissimo, take a look at the date of this original post that your pal Dumb Ass decided to regurgitate so many months later and then, when you've realized what a fool you've made of yourself, you can wipe all that egg off your fat face.
LMAO!

I know the date Urinal, doesn't change the principle.

Shplott!
Didn't I tell you to wipe your stupid face first, Moffie?
I guess this is what happens when your age overtakes your IQ.
LMAO!

Rooinek

Status: Rugby Legend
Posts: 4389 RE: Quoteas win toss and put England in . . .
January 11, 2017, 19:49:22

Listen stupidissimo, take a look at the date of this original post

Herein lies the problem

Piss Mint's principles and morals change as often as his daily alcohol intake does

Every day, something different