Bean Brain you gotta admit that his predictions were funny. Try the good the bad and the ugly then...
Rupert Curlett breaks down the teams vying for the 2013 Super Rugby title.
Blues
The Good: The only way is up for the young, inexperienced team. Coach Kirwan is a known motivator, and will blend well with technical coach Sir Graham Henry (who has led the Blues to a Super Rugby win in every year that he has been involved). Very promising performances in the pre-season from Rene Ranger, Frank Halai and Kane Barrett hint that the Blues might be real contenders in the New Zealand conference.
The Bad: A young, inexperienced team and a lot to prove to fans who won't stick around for another poor season.
The Ugly: A season full of "Sir John Kirwan's got the Blues" jokes.
Predictions: The Blues only have two or three overseas games that will prove difficult for them, fewer than any other New Zealand team. Good performance at home, with a couple of conference upsets will see the Aucklanders in the playoffs.
Brumbies
The Good: Match-winner Michael Hooper's departure has been covered by superstar David Pocock's arrival in the capital. Ex-Wallaby Clyde Rathbone is back in the mix as well, which sets up a powerful midfield combo alongside Pat McCabe or Christian Lealiifano.
The Bad: The Brumbies had a good 2012 campaign, only to succumb to the Blues in the final game, missing out on the playoffs. Hopefully Pocock can be the Heimlich in 2013 to prevent another choking.
The Ugly: The likes of Ben Alexander, Stephen Moore, and Christian Lealiifano will no doubt suffer lack of game time due to the Australian Lions Tour in June.
Predictions: To top the Australian conference, or at least make a wildcard placing. Jake White showed his worth in 2012 with some inspired selections and game plans; expect to see the same this year.
Bulls
The Good: Great new signings in the form of player Jan Serfontein and Springbok sevens coach Paul Treu, should hopefully help the Bulls to play more modern rugby.
The Bad: The Blue Bulls were stale in 2012, playing to the same old game plan under coach Frans Ludeke by playing their matches around the boot of Morne Steyn.
The Ugly: Morne Steyn is leaving to play in France at the end of 2013, therefore Ludeke will most likely spend the season trying to find a replacement at the expense of points and direction.
Predictions: The Pretorians could very well miss out on the playoffs, but wins within the South African conference could sneak them in. A bit of modern play wouldn't go amiss, but with ex-Springbok stalwart Victor Matfield the Attack Coach, don't expect to see any of it.
Chiefs
The Good: The Chiefs were victorious in 2012, and have retained most of the squad for 2013; especially attack coach Wayne Smith and wiz-kid Aaron Cruden.
The Bad: Losing SBW back to the NRL where he will be very bored with the shoulder-charge ban in effect. Human Diglet, Sona Taumololo is gone from the squad too, along with his eight tries from last year.
The Ugly: Richard Kahui is injured and leaving for Japan at the end of the year, so things could be prettier, but on the whole, the Chiefs are looking good.
Predictions: Tawera Kerr-Barlow to suffer second-year slumps, leaving Cruden and the backs less mobility around the field; but with a monster forward pack and Sam Cane growing in to the number seven jersey, at least a wildcard placing.
Cheetahs
The Good: Johan Goosen, the Cheetahs' first-five who was injured midway last year, should be ready to slot back in to the team this year, bringing some exciting attacking rugby to the South African conference.
The Bad: Consistency. Beating the Hurricanes in 2012 was an impressive feat, but one that was rarely replicated throughout the season. Although Coenie Oosthuizen and Adriaan Strauss do huge work running the ball and in the scrum, the forward pack's defence leaves a lot to be desired.
The Ugly: The Cheetahs haven't done better than 10th in the last decade. Worse still, they haven't seemed to do much to change that in 2013.
Predictions: Another dud year is foreseeable for the Cheetahs, but they might defy expectations with players like Raymond Rhule, Willie Le Roux, and Sarel Pretorius in the mix.
Crusaders
The Good: A lot of All Blacks, matched with exciting rookies like Johnny McNicholl and Luke Whitelock, should perform well against most teams with only minimal direction. However, new captain Kieran Read will still be looking to lead the team well, and prove his credentials as King McCaw's heir.
The Bad: It has been a few years since the undisputed power franchise in Super Rugby have taken the title, and concerns are growing throughout the country that the old formula may have staled as of late. Certainly Todd Blackadder's coaching team have failed to prove they have the tactical nous to adapt in big games.
The Ugly: Losing Zac Guildford and Sean Maitland has not hurt the starting backline hugely, but has damaged the depth of a squad, to which no major signings have been added.
Predictions: If the Crusaders were going to have a bad year, it would be 2013. Richie's sabbatical won't have much impact in a team he has hardly played a full season for since being named captain, especially with the form Matt Todd has shown in recent years. However as the Chiefs proved last year, a superstar team will beat a team of superstars any day of the week, and a top six placing this year might be just out of reach for the Cantabrians.
Highlanders
The Good: Huge off-season signings including Ma'a Nonu, Tony Woodcock, and of course big Bad Brad Thorn. The Highlanders were close to the playoffs last year, but were hampered by strings of injuries and a lack in depth to support them. Hopefully by bringing in the big guns, they'll have a better shot at it in 2013.
The Bad: The southern men are still looking suspect at first-five, their Achilles' heel. Slade is due for another injury soon and Sopoanga is yet to prove his worth; yet if Hayden Parker and Tony Ensor can bring their ITM form in to 2013, there should be enough to get the team through.
The Ugly: Lance Armstrong's doping confession has led to an ANZAC investigation in to which other sporting heroes have been injecting themselves with Brad Thorn's blood.
Predictions: On paper, the Highlanders should win the New Zealand conference, and take apart any foreign competition. It is a fickle game though, and anything could happen.
Hurricanes
The Good: Coach Mark Hammett's clear-out of the Canes did wonders for the team in 2012, with new talents Julian Savea, Andre Taylor and TJ Perenara finding the line often throughout the season. With Ben Franks consolidating the front row, and Ardie Savea likely to explode on to the scene in 2013, the team seems to be in good nick.
The Bad: Hammett might struggle trying to fit Ardie in to what was in 2012 one of the most formidable backrows of the competition. Cory Jane is out with a knee injury too, but there should be enough quality backs around to fill the spot.
The Ugly: Cory Jane's unadulterated abuse of Twitter will only get worse without having to train.
Predictions: It will be tight competition in the New Zealand Conference this year, but the Hurricanes should have enough talent and coaching to see them through to a wildcard placing at least.
Rebels
The Good: The Rebels have grown from their debut in 2011 in to a proper team with some decent structure. If O'Connor stays injury free, and Phipps breaks his leg, then the days of the wooden spoon might be gone.
The Bad: They're still only just able to field a competitive team, with little depth in any area, especially after the loss of English first-five, Danny Cipriani.
The Ugly: James O'Connor's haircut.
Predictions: Could challenge the Reds for the Australian competition's third place, as long as they stay healthy and their star players aren't too affected by the aforementioned Lions Tour.
Reds
The Good: Public enemy number one (Quade Cooper) is back to full fitness, so at the very least, the Reds should have an entertaining season. Captain James Horwill also returns to the limelight after injury saw his season end midway through 2012.
The Bad: Very little change to a squad that performed poorly on the whole last year, in what was a terrible season for a winning squad expecting to perform similarly.
The Ugly: Ewen McKenzie has moved from head coach to "Director of Coaching", with previous Western Force coach Richard Graham stepping in to McKenzie's boots. International boofhead Scott Higginbotham has left Brisbane for the Rebels, and the likes of Schatz and Quirk who are expected to replace the Wallaby, have shown little aptitude for the game.
Predictions: This year's team is a shadow of the attacking might that saw the Reds fill the trophy cabinet in 2011, and are unlikely to perform similarly.
Sharks
The Good: Last year's runner ups have bolstered what was an already outstanding squad by signing South Africa's answer to Conrad Smith, Frans Steyn, and veteran first-five Butch James. With Patrick Lambie still small in stature and prone to injury, James and Steyn will both provide cover for the pivot throughout the long season.
The Bad: The Sharks have huge depth in all areas of the field, except for at halfback, where Charl Mcleod has only one understudy to sit on the bench.
The Ugly: Although the playoffs and the closing end of the season tend to go the way of the Durban men, in recent years they have become notorious for starting poorly and losing must-win conference matches. If they are to take out the top spot in 2013, the Sharks need to secure home finals with early wins.
Predictions: Easy five-pointer wins over the Cheetahs and Kings should help the Sharks to a top-of-the-table position, come the end of the regular season. They are definite contenders for the overall champions.
Stormers
The Good: After the Lions were relegated from the South African conference, many of their players were scouted to play for the other franchises. The Stormers have come out on top in this regard, signing three Springboks: first-five Elton Jantjies, fullback wizard Jaco Taute and old-school hard man Pat Cilliers.
The Bad: Ex-Springbok Schalk Burger is to make his long awaited return to Super Rugby in 2013; however after a long debilitating career and several big injuries, Burger is unlikely to last long or make a huge impact.
The Ugly: 2013 will be the final year of Bryan Habana playing in South Africa, the aging speedster having confirmed a move to France at the end of the season; critics are still unsure as to whether the legendary winger will fade towards the end, or whether a late resurgence of form is on the cards.
Predictions: A strong squad, combined with a recent Currie Cup win, should hint at the Stormers' success in 2013. Expect a couple of nail-biters against the Sharks, which will determine whether the Stormers make the playoffs or not.
Southern Kings
The Good: The Southern Kings are located in Port Elizabeth, so due to the time difference, you will rarely have to see them play.
The Bad: Probably every player except for Hadleigh Parkes and Demetri Catrakilis.
The Ugly: Despite several foreign signings, including Argentine pair Tomás Leonardi and Nicolás Vergallo, the Kings have been limited to fielding only two foreign players each week by SANZAR.
Predictions: Last.
Waratahs
The Good: The New South Welshman have gained a few key players over the off-season, including horse-legs Israel Folau, who after a brief stint in AFL, has returned to his original code and looks to set the competition alight. Also, recent Wallaby Michael Hooper will bolster the forward pack in a growing team that will foster his abilities well.
The Bad: South African halfback Sarel Pretorius has left Australia to return to his homeland, which will leave the Warratahs vulnerable. The other half of the halves combination, Berrick Barnes, will need excellent ball if he is to do any backline distribution, therefore incumbent number nine Grayson Hart will have to step up.
The Ugly: New coach Michael Cheika has said he's prepared to win ugly, and go the hard yards in training in order to rejuvenate the energy found in Warratah teams of old. Think Botha rather than SBW, ugly but for 12 rounds.
Predictions: The 'Tahs will be pretty bang on with the Brumbies this year, and if they do not top the Australian Conference, they should at least gain a wildcard placing.
Western Force
The Good: The Force have a new coach Michael Foley, who was recently given the boot by the Warratahs in 2012. At the end of the day the team can only get better from their past performances, especially with several journeyman players in the squad wanting to make a name for themselves.
The Bad: It is as of yet unclear how the 14th ranked Force will be able to progress in the competition after losing both their Wallaby captains: David Pocock to the Brumbies, and retiring veteran Nathan Sharpe.
The Ugly: Nick "The Badger" Cummins will most continue to be the most influential player in the team, once he returns from injury. If he was a New Zealander, Cummins would be lucky to start in the ITM Cup.
Predictions: Some close games with the Rebels, Reds, Cheetah and Kings will decide where in the bottom five the Force will come.
