WHO says Richie McCaw doesn't have a sense of humour?
Following the post-match press conference at Suncorp Stadium late on Saturday, an Australian journalist sought McCaw's autograph. Now, journalists don't usually do things like this but then again, a few moments earlier a member of the public somehow had meandered into the presser and asked a long and rambling question almost as rambling as some of mine - so it was that sort of night.
Besides, the item thrust under McCaw's nose for his signature wasn't your standard piece of rugby memorabilia. It was instead a beer stubby holder, one on which was printed the line: "I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink when McCaw's offside."
The All Blacks captain looked at it suspiciously but then burst into a wide grin and happily scrawled his name on it. Expect to see it posted on eBay some time soon. And no, it wasn't me who boldly went where no Australian journo had been before.
Like most good jokes, what made the caption so funny was that it cut awfully close to the bone. Many a true word spoken in jest - that kind of thing. McCaw does spend an inordinate amount of time offside. He was at it again on Saturday night and South African referee Craig Joubert almost shouted himself hoarse at times yelling "Seven, roll away!"
By the 31st minute, having just uttered those very words to McCaw the openside flanker, he then invited McCaw the captain to step into his office. "The trend needs to change," Joubert warned him. "If it doesn't, the next one goes to the bin."
So the next few minutes after Mike Harris kicked a penalty goal were fairly sobering ones for the owner of the stubby holder. But while McCaw was on his best behaviour, the trend continued and, sure enough, right on halftime Joubert reached the limits of his patience and despatched All Blacks loosehead Tony Woodcock to the sin bin.
The slate seemingly wiped clean, McCaw got back to business at the start of the second half. But Joubert wasn't having any of it and at the 49-minute mark was heard to yell "Seven, black!" Then followed a whistle blast, a moment of silence and then a second whistle blast after McCaw, in naughty schoolboy mode, threw the ball away and was marched a further 10m.
That brought the posts just into the range of Australia's long-range bomber, Kurtley Beale, and 30 seconds later, after his kick just scraped over the bar, the Wallabies had pushed their lead out to 15-6. Two penalties directly against McCaw, two penalty goals kicked. In the context of an 18-18 draw, they were two costly mistakes by the All Blacks skipper.
Most referees are so in awe of McCaw that they simply can't bring themselves to pull him into line. So they shout "Seven, roll away" and then do nothing when McCaw, seemingly in all innocence, rolls into the opposition halfback just as he is trying to clear the ball.
Then, apparently realising his mistake, he innocently rolls back to where he has just come from, "inadvertently" blocking the ball a second time. And then he jumps back to his feet, the expression on his face almost angelic. "Golly," he seems to be saying, "I sure hope I didn't slow you guys down any."
Back in what I am increasingly viewing as "the good, old days", McCaw would have been attended to very smartly. The first time he laid all over the ball, he would have had his jersey shredded. His back would have resembled Blue Poles, only red, and he would have tottered shakily back to his feet while loudly pledging never to try anything nearly so cute ever again.
Rucking, of course, is no longer an option. So opposition sides like the Wallabies are forced to rely on the referees to keep players like McCaw in line. Even when the man in charge has the courage to blow the whistle on McCaw, it just isn't humanly possible for them to keep an eye on him at every breakdown and, in the end, two penalties, even if they result in six points to the opposition, might be a cheap price for the All Blacks to pay.
None of this is to excuse what Scott Higginbotham did on Saturday night and he will have no one but himself to blame if his indiscretions cost him one or two Tests on the tour of Europe, possibly even the whole tour. But, having said that, it is not difficult to imagine how frustration with McCaw could get the better of any player. Afterwards, All Blacks coach Steve Hansen bemoaned the cheap shot and, while holding back on any further inflammatory comments, urged journalists to write what they saw. Which is what I am doing now.
There is a reason why McCaw gets "picked on" by opposing international sides and it has very little to do with the fact that he is more than a world-class player, perhaps even a best-that's-ever-been player. Dan Carter is almost in that same league and yet rarely is he subjected to real atrocities.
McCaw attracts the cheap shots because he is courageous enough to risk the wrath of a Higginbotham or a Dean Greyling or, yes, even a Quade Cooper who, if truth be known, took his cheap shot at McCaw last year in response to being on the receiving end of one himself just a little earlier.
One can only admire McCaw for being prepared to wear such punishment on behalf of his team but it is a bit much when he then wears a sainted but wounded expression on his face afterwards, perplexed that for some reason he has been targeted yet again. He knows very well why he was targeted.
But not even the most parochial of Wallabies supporters can stay mad at McCaw for long, not when he does things like opting to take a scrum feed deep into injury time, deep in his own territory, simply because he refuses to accept that the All Blacks' 16-Test winning run is about to come to an end.
What magnificent captaincy! No wonder the All Blacks follow wherever this great warrior leads them. The odds were stacked well against New Zealand pulling the game out of the fire at the death and yet McCaw spat in the eye of doubters and was the first one out of the scrum, calling for the inside pass and clattering ferociously into Wallabies.
The first 75 minutes of Saturday's Bledisloe Cup Test might have been strewn with errors but the last 10 featured some of the most heroic rugby in decades, with first the Wallabies attacking in droves, then the All Blacks.
Precisely why the Wallabies didn't snap for field goal, as Carter ultimately did for the All Blacks, unsuccessfully, is pretty much unfathomable but the important thing was that, for once, they were backing themselves.
Notice, too, how none of the All Blacks, McCaw most especially, gave away a single penalty during that last desperate Wallabies assault. Through phase after phase, McCaw stayed onside.
Talk about working up a thirst.
