Penis pump

Forum » Rugby » Penis pump

Oct 13, 2016, 14:22

guys, on a serious note, its my brothers 25th birthday next week.

Ive been enquiring about pen1s pumps for a while but no one seems to have the right answer.

Its something he really needs to I'm quite sure thats what im getting him.

Do any of you okes know which is more effective: Hydromax X-Series or the Bathmate Hydro Pump?

Also what is the difference between an enlarger and a pump?

Oct 13, 2016, 15:12


I hope there aren't any dogs involved in this sick plan of yours??

Oct 13, 2016, 15:16

"I hope there aren't any dogs involved in this sick plan of yours??"

Please, don't encourage him. That last pic almost turned me off visiting this board.

Oct 13, 2016, 16:07

 guys this isnt a joke
and clean cut, stop being a p0es.

Oct 13, 2016, 16:10

"guys this isnt a joke"

Who's laughing, Chippo? This thread has no business on the rugby section and it's about as funny as the bestiality picture you put up some weeks ago and refused to remove . . . even after I asked you nicely.

Oct 13, 2016, 16:13

delete.d post about cleancuts mom

Oct 13, 2016, 16:14

When I lived in a small QLD town a while back the resident dipsh!t and wannabe bully had his enlarger sent to one of his unfortunate victims by mistake .Oh the karma . 

Oct 13, 2016, 16:15

 Chippo theres no need to attack any ones family ,its just the lowest of acts and not needed.

Oct 13, 2016, 16:16

 rooiknob, please dont reply if you dont like the thread.
Im looking for a mans perspective in a pen1s pump.
why do you have to be so childish?

If its fine  for beeno to post about trump and other people to post about zuma... why cant i ask an adult question about a fricken pen1s pump?

Oct 13, 2016, 16:17

 point taken wardad.
will edit that post

Oct 13, 2016, 17:21

"If its fine  for beeno to post about [removed] and other people to post about zuma... why cant i ask an adult question about a fricken pen1s pump?"

Oh for goodness sake! 

Chop-ou, apart from the snivelling and whiny tone of your reply I have to say it's actually hard to believe you need someone to explain this to you!

This board has three different areas. One for Rugby, one for Other Sports and one for Other Stuff. 

Dense and a few other haven't quite gotten the hang of Other Sports but even they use the Tr(*)mpet for posts that have nothing at all to do with sports.

If you have a microscopic little d!ck and you want some advice on making it bigger then post this pen!s pump stuff by all means but post in the appropriate section.


Oct 14, 2016, 00:47

 Rooinek... It's for my brother.  Not me.

On that note... Clearly you over used your penis pump... Even your personality is that of a big dick.

Anyway. How do I move this to another thread?

Oct 14, 2016, 05:14

I clicked on this against my better judgement thinking it might be something to protect the boys Crown Jewels while playing rugby....eeerrrr I'm not even going to ask.

You can't buy him some aftershave chippo?????

Oct 14, 2016, 06:31

 This sounds like the old "Doctor, I have a friend with a problem" story......

Oct 14, 2016, 07:10

"This sounds like the old "Doctor, I have a friend with a problem" story......"


Oct 14, 2016, 07:15

Hey Chippo,

What about Aaron Smith??

Oct 14, 2016, 08:04

No man Chippo!!! Does this really have to be here? LOL

Its called Google, it will guide you! Also, just remove the spam filter on your e-mail and penis pumps will come looking for you! ;) 

Oct 14, 2016, 08:05

 Aaron has someone to pump it for him ,well at least he used to !

Oct 14, 2016, 08:16



Too funny!!!

"This sounds like the old "Doctor, I have a friend with a problem" story......"

Chop and his "smallcock" will never live this down. 

Oct 14, 2016, 08:25

Oh and Chop-ou, as for how to move this to another forum, use your imagination for Pete's sake.

Doesn't take any great rocket science to simply edit the original post and change it to a single dot or something and then re-post it in the Tr(*)mpet where it should have been posted in the first place.

Not sure if there's much point moving this thread anymore considering all the replies and the fact that everyone is now having a good laugh at your expense. Oh well, you did ask for it. What kind of moron asks for advice on how to enlarge his d!ck (or help keep it up) on a message board forum?

If I were you I'd ask the Ed nicely to delete it completely or at least move it down to the Tr(*)mpet where fewer people will see it.

Oct 14, 2016, 08:31


Good thread Chips...I needed the laugh!

Seriously though. Go to an adult shop and speak to the people there.

Oct 14, 2016, 09:02

Hey Chippies,

Wanted the name Monsterc*ck but settled for Monsterbok.
Can't help I'm afraid.  

Oct 14, 2016, 09:40


Friggin show off!!!!!

Oct 14, 2016, 09:48

 Rooinek (the name itself sounds like someone squeezed your knob too hard), why are you so sensitive?
Did I touch a sore point?

I dunno chap, but where I come from, we are able to speak to adults as if they were adults.

Youve made this in to an argument. Anyway, i'll be sure to know who to ask when I need to find a butt plug.

On a closing note, for all you guys out there that were curious, I've managed to get my hands on the Hydromax.
I'll let you know the results in a few weeks after I've spoken to my bro.

Oct 14, 2016, 09:49

...surprised Moz didn't have any advice on this.

Oct 14, 2016, 09:53

"I dunno chap, but where I come from, we are able to speak to adults as if they were adults."

Oh, like on this thread you mean?

I think anyone reading this thread can judge for themselves which of us is behaving like the child.

Oct 14, 2016, 10:47


Listen up, Chop!

You are no doubt the product of some drunken encounter with a dirty plotmeid. 

No class ... no breeding ... just simply a low life.

We are not interested in hearing about your small penis issues so there's really no need for any feedback. Please!! Some subjects are best kept private. Not splashed on a message board. 

Have you no pride?

You were clearly raised without manners ... without any form of decency ... 

Oct 14, 2016, 11:01

 Such a nasty person you are cleancut.
have you ever used a pump before?
hope not! i'd hate for there to be more of you.

Oct 14, 2016, 11:43

 Is this 4 real?

Unless it's a micropenis, you (he) won't probably see results...but since I never used one of those, maybe I'm wrong.

Nonetheless, just buy him a freaking toothbrush.

Oct 14, 2016, 11:50

Yes, who would even consider buying someone else a pen!s enlargement as a birthday present? I mean . . . how the heck would you know???

Let's pretend for a sec that this pen!s pump is for this alleged brother and not for poor MicroChip himself; picture the scene and imagine the poor brother opening his birthday presents . . . he unwraps the pen!s enlargement kit and goes a bit red in the face while his wife starts punching the air in excitement and the kids all ask "what is it, Dad?"


Oct 14, 2016, 12:53



Yes, how would you indeed?

Boy, it takes all sorts ...

Oct 14, 2016, 17:04

 We went camping together and he told me there.
It really isn't such a great deal.

And no, it isnt a micropenis. its only micro when its under 3cm flacid. But still, he's really small for a black fella.
...he doesnt have kids yet. But his girlfriend has encouraged the idea.

Oct 14, 2016, 18:17

Let the pumping...BEGIN!!!

Oct 14, 2016, 19:37

Cloudy...young who are obsessed with their useless willy's are not real men in the true sense...there is a lot to learn for some of these disfunctional types...avoid them.:'(

Big tools can be as useless as big tits or huge va ginas to be candid and vulgar...physical and God- given love is about pleasing your partner and that's the secret...I wish education would teach this...corrupt manipulators and magazine bullsh i te is a mega billion industry leading our young to a fantasy that gives a quick up and sensational burst but doesn't Hollywood unions are short lived...wake up honest and strong people.

Real love is shown in tenderness,unselfishness and a hell of lot of queens and studs and posters of pornography have not this...when a man loves a woman they share...are aware of each others lack and with their opposite strengths endeavour to fulfill it through effort,understanding , forgiveness and total caring for the wife or husband.

Love is physically caring...putting bread on the table and treating the spouse with respect...raising the kids with tough love and discipline and a lot more unselfish work. That spreads to show love is work and not idle words..

Oct 14, 2016, 21:11


Oct 14, 2016, 21:21

 Nah, the pump's for his boyfriend, not his brother .

Oct 14, 2016, 21:38

 Yeah and it all started with a plastic tube that is really so think people believe in this sh.te...thank God I had good strong God- Fearing parents and great mentors like Skonk Nicholson and "Cheese Morton" at Maritzburg College"

I am very priviledged in my youth to see good, strong and ethical is beautiful but is a deep personal and very private is not dirty if cherished or teachings never brought this into my a youngster I was priviledge to observe love between a father and mother...very healthy but it's very private...that's what builds nations or more importantly character and the way you build your life with your wife or husband.

I boast about my wife, she is a "goddess"...a foreigner but a angel...she has every quality that a man could desire and she truly loves me...I told her the other day that if anybody or anything could offer everything in the world, fame, riches or power I would not trade it for you and I MEANT IT.

When I showed this posting about a penis pump...she looked startled and said and giggled...I don't understand why should a man need this....lolz

Oct 14, 2016, 23:00

 @ Chippo, dude I seriously hope this was all just a wind up, if not, theres no living this Happy birthday to your boet.

Oct 15, 2016, 00:01

You could start by typing this into Google or ask your brother, he should know?

Oct 15, 2016, 12:24

Xavi well done brother.

It's a total wind up.
I love seeing rooineks responses.
A few of us had a good private chuckle at the knob head.

He has been true to form and entertained us royally.

Oct 15, 2016, 12:30

 "It's a total wind up"

Knew it!

Oct 15, 2016, 12:30

 What a great rugby topic.

Oct 15, 2016, 12:46


Yeah right!!

Soft Cock doesn't suffer from the dreaded droop.

It was all a hoax.


Limp Dick's suddenly realised what he's done. Now to find a way out of this mess ... right?

Oct 15, 2016, 12:47

 Oh dear

Lord c@nt has returned with his wisdom

Oct 15, 2016, 12:53

 Clean Clown =Macho man.

True to form.

Next he'll make out he's a p0rn star.:'(

Oct 15, 2016, 12:57


What's wrong, SoftC0ck???

Feeling a little stupid?



Oct 15, 2016, 13:03

Sometimes a little prank is okay and it's the perfect way to clear out some of the tension around here...

Wow, what a strange sense of humour. So many things to joke around...

Oct 15, 2016, 13:06


Yeah ... awhile back he post a pic of a dog doing a man.

The man's pure filth.

Oct 15, 2016, 13:07

 Dont ever refer to your mom as a dog again!

Oct 15, 2016, 13:07

 "The man's pure filth".


Oct 15, 2016, 14:01

Well of course MicroChip is going to claim it was all a wind up . . . what else could he do?


Oct 16, 2016, 00:04

Great!!  Get him a wind up clock!  Done and dusted.

Oct 16, 2016, 07:07


Jun 17, 2019, 09:46

... this was quite possibly the best and funniest prank I have ever played on anyone.

CC and Rooinek, you okes got so wound up. I cried myself to sleep, laughing at your reactions.

Jun 17, 2019, 09:54

Oh right . . . it was all a prank?


Your opening line in the opening posts starts off:

"guys, on a serious note . . ."

Your second comment on the thread starts off:

"guys, this isn't a joke . . ."

Then after you finally realised how much egg you had all over your face, suddenly it wasn't actually all that serious and what wasn't a joke suddenly became a joke.

You keep crying yourself to sleep MicroChip, we'll carry on laughing.

Jun 17, 2019, 11:40

Nah ouChippo, better if you bly tjoepstil ......  ffs you're da man, its your post. Btw how do you rate the toys ?

Jun 17, 2019, 14:42

Haha Rooi Me saying how serious I was, was bait for all you poephols.

And you took it.

Believe me, if my brother needed a penis pump, I wouldn't be asking you farts for the best one.

I just like to give okes like Denny and smartmichael something to choke on.

Jun 17, 2019, 15:22

What a sting! Hahahaha! Peeper and Turncoat you chaps are to be complimented, without your earnest contributions this wouldn't have been so hilarious!

Jun 17, 2019, 16:40


Well done to you mate.

Either you knew I was egging these idiots on, or you were also in a bit of shock...

Either way, well done to you for not being a poephol.

And I must say well done to Mike, Beeno and Denny as well.

Those were the 3 farts that I thought would get involved...

(edited: and Plum)

To my shock,it was Rooi and CC.

None the less... i've held this thread close to my chest for (almost) 3 years.

Rooi, well done on Total Rankers mate.

@Ed, is it going to carry on next week or is this it?

Jun 17, 2019, 16:45

Umm Chippo

Add me to that list. 

Jun 17, 2019, 17:28

There's another clear distinction to be made here . . . the stupid posters (like Baboon-ou, Dense and Moffie) believe that it was "bait" or a "sting" or whatever you want to call it . . . everyone else (the posters with an IQ over 80) is still laughing.

Once again, check out MicroChop's statements that are still there for all to see in his first two posts . . . "guys, on a serious note" and "guys this isnt a joke". You don't start off a wind-up like this saying clearly that it's not a joke and then suddenly say, "oh you know what . . . it was actually a joke".

The real joke is that MicroChop would have us believe that we were the ones getting "worked up" while he was laughing away at us . . . well, read over the thread again and decide for yourself who was having a chuckle and who was getting all red in the face and using foul language . . . so much so that he resorted to slagging off Klown's mother and had to go back and edit the post.


Whatever else MicroChop, I hope your . . . ummmm . . . "brother" found a product to help his tiny little dick at least get horizontal. Good luck to you . . . sorry, I mean to your "brother"!

Jun 17, 2019, 17:41

oh stop it!

you're just embarassed now!

"guys, on a serious note" and "guys this isnt a joke"... think a little deeper redneck. Thats precisely what I wanted you to think... and you took it... and chewed on it like a cows unused udders!

chump, have you read some of my other posts?

The latest ones where I edit names etc?
I like having a bit of naughty fun (I dont want to involve family here, but you have a few in your family that can attest to this).

Jun 17, 2019, 21:06

It is pretty sad this is the currently the most commented thread... A sad state of affairs, just like the SuperRugby for SA in 2019

Jun 17, 2019, 21:53

"It is pretty sad this is the currently the most commented thread... "

Yes well, speak to the person who started the thread . . . the same person who deemed it worthy of a bump three years later.

Jun 17, 2019, 22:18

Thanks for all the opinions on the penis pump. Very helpful. Anyone here have advice on natural remedies for peyronie's disease? I have a friend who suffers terribly and thought I should ask on his behalf.

Jun 17, 2019, 22:36

We've folk here who claim, ' I'm not gay my brother is' or 'the pomp's for my brother's lomp willy', not moi. My advice would be to take ownership of your skewered proclivities. Sterkte.

Jun 17, 2019, 22:49

Image result for david hasselhoff sex doll jokes

Jun 17, 2019, 23:24

Oh good ol Pamela Handerson...

Jun 17, 2019, 23:31

Take the deep dive have been shhhhhtungggg! And it couldn't happen to a more self righteous pompous arse!

Jun 18, 2019, 01:23

Too funny watching the self-righteous holier than thou Snooper frothing at the mouth.......sidesplitting stuff. Likewise his low life partner in crime, the thug, Clean Cut.

Laughing Graphics

Thanks for the laugh, obviously a wind-up......not so obvious to the slackjawed, chain dragging and humorless, Koosie.

A word of warning to the author........tighten the security around your social media accounts, he'll be a coming at you!

Jun 18, 2019, 02:11

Timely warning Denny.

Jun 18, 2019, 09:15

Oh no, not this again?!!

Chop and his "brother's" powertool ... pretending it was all meant as a joke.

Yeah, right!!

I'm afraid you'll forever be known as the man with his penis pump ... no matter how many times you try to explain it away ... it IS your legacy. 

There are somethings you can never un-read ... and they usually come with a visual image. What I see is a man trying his damndest to bring life back to his unresponsive, shriveled up pecker. Frustrated and desperate, even to the point of coming aboard here in the hopes of help.

That was very funny, Chop. 

Speaking of help ... did Mozart ever come through with the requested advice? I know you thought of him as THE man to ask for guidance, being elderly and all. 

Not sure what made you think of him as your go to guy for sound pecker advice?!

Jun 18, 2019, 09:35

Aaaaaah shame, Denny ... feeling a little left out now that Redneck rejected your friendship?

Back to crying about the past again, huh?

He's the peeper and I'm the knife wielding thug, right? I guess that means you're no longer a fan of mine, right?


Tell us again about defending that principle of yours. Go on ... you know you wanna.


Jun 18, 2019, 14:01

And the dupe goes on the offensive.....problem is it's hard to take a hee-hawing chap seriously when his indignant face is slathered with egg.

Jun 18, 2019, 14:49

Moffie doesn't need a penis pump. He already has one. It's called Dense.

Jun 18, 2019, 14:54

Peeper, Peeper there's no need to humiliate yourself anymore on this string. We have been entertained, to quote the Gladiator.

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