FIXTURESNo upcoming fixtures — check back soon.
FORUM / MIKES GRIPES /  The Gospel of Magic Teapot

The Gospel of Magic Teapot

Started by SeagullsStopItNow11 REPLIES720 VIEWS· 14 Dec 2019, 16:24
SHAREXFACEBOOKWHATSAPPTELEGRAMREDDITLINKEDIN
SE
SeagullsStopItNowRookie43 posts
14 Dec 2019, 16:24
#1
14 Dec 2019, 16:24#1

Good day fellow believers and others. Welcome. We believers love all who will listen to us.

Magic Teapot only requires 8% of your monthly income. Not 10% like Christianity. But I have great news below;

Holiday sale: Anyone who signs up before 20 December will only be required to contribute 6% of their income. If you don’t you are a filthy stinking rag that will never see the Kingdom of Tea. And you’ll get cancer.

DE
DennyCaptain12,893 posts
15 Dec 2019, 03:11
#2
15 Dec 2019, 03:11#2

Drinking tea goes against my religious beliefs

PA
PakieCaptain17,321 posts
15 Dec 2019, 07:29
#3
15 Dec 2019, 07:29#3

3% and I want a cookie and Sundays off, otherwise you can stuff it.

PL
PlumCaptain21,007 posts
15 Dec 2019, 10:50
#4
15 Dec 2019, 10:50#4

So original.


SH
sharkbokCaptain23,216 posts
15 Dec 2019, 11:31
#5
15 Dec 2019, 11:31#5
I used to worship Baal, but later decided he was also a false God. 
PL
PlumCaptain21,007 posts
15 Dec 2019, 12:50
#6
15 Dec 2019, 12:50#6

Shark, you fancy golden calves?

That story itself is another small piece of historically accurate information emerging from the Torah.

My guess is that the tit Gull has no idea why.

Guess I'll wait for him to research it . 

Here's a clue Gull, the Jews use a Ram's horn to celebrate Moses.

SH
sharkbokCaptain23,216 posts
15 Dec 2019, 21:07
#7
15 Dec 2019, 21:07#7

@Plum what story do you refer to, and how has this been proven historically accurate. 

By the way, I picked this up on eBay some time ago and put it on my wall above the TV. Although someone told me that Ball Worshipers eat their Children, a bit like another religion that sacrifices their Children. It looks great as an ornament in my home, so what the hell I say..


PL
PlumCaptain21,007 posts
16 Dec 2019, 14:08
#8
16 Dec 2019, 14:08#8

Shark...

Taurus, Aries, Piecies, Aquarius

That's the order of the pre cessional titlt of the earth. 

It shows that the biblical description of the old God, Taurus, is chronologically accurately depicted by the old testament.

I'm referring tito Moses smashing the ten commandments when he came down from the mountain and saw the Isralites had build a statue of the old God.


PL
PlumCaptain21,007 posts
16 Dec 2019, 20:52
#9
16 Dec 2019, 20:52#9

Here, Shark

https://dept.astro.lsa.umich.edu/resources/ugactivities/Labs/precession/index.html

Maybe you know this, if not ->Look at the order of the constellations, starting from Taurus.

Taurus Baal

Aries Moses

Pisces Jesus 



DB
DbDraadCaptain26,388 posts
17 Dec 2019, 19:34
#10
17 Dec 2019, 19:34#10

Making jest of child sacrifice now...no wonder the planet is going to sh!t.

SH
sharkbokCaptain23,216 posts
17 Dec 2019, 19:50
#11
17 Dec 2019, 19:50#11

I am making fun of people like you that believe in Gods that practise eating children or the sacrifice of them, simpleton. 

You have 2 caveman tribes. One says the other is Cane while believing they are Abel. Same Bible bar a few edits on both sides, both believing they are the good side with the other on the bad side. Church leaders making up more BS than already exists...

In case I need to spell it out for you, it is Christians that believe in child sacrifice. (E.g. Jesus. Also, Abraham who wanted to sacrifice his child at the instructions of God). 

Also, it is Christians who claim the Canaanites religion promoted eating Children. That was just said to sell Christianity as a better option. 

The only person in the world that would consider child sacrifice is a backward religious person. Eating bread with wine at Church is eating Jesus... God's Child. 


sacrifice/?sakr?f??s/Learn to pronouncenoun
  1. 1.an act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to a deity."they offer sacrifices to the spirits"Similar:ritual slaughterhecatombimmolationofferingoblationself-sacrificeself-immolation
  2. 2.CHRISTIAN CHURCHChrist's offering of himself in the Crucifixion.
verb
  1. 1.offer or kill as a religious sacrifice."the goat was sacrificed at the shrine"Similar:offer upimmolateslaughter


DB
DbDraadCaptain26,388 posts
17 Dec 2019, 20:51
#12
17 Dec 2019, 20:51#12

...and you call me a simpleton?

You are just as judgmental as what you accuse religious people of being...brainwashed zealot.

— END OF THREAD —

More from Mikes Gripes