Hahahahaha. It's like missing a toothache when it's gone. 
Hahahahaha. It's like missing a toothache when it's gone.
You still have teeth?
Haha this board!
Not one missing mozzietard.
Rooi can be interesting if he doesn't try so hard to be a doos all the time...
Rooitwit is hilarious. Funniest poster on the board.
ButtPlug, I know you're quite a stupid person but I'd expect even a dullard like you would recognise that if you're missing me, at least one of your adjectives in the OP is false . . . unless of course boredom is a positive thing for you . . . which wouldn't be that surprising given that that you're such a sad and pathetic loser that boredom is preferable to the humiliation and embarrassment you suffer on a daily basis.
I've been in the Kruger Park for the last week.
Our last drive was from Lower Sabie to Malelane Gate on Friday morning. We left at 04h30 and before we even got to Nkhulu Picnic site, we saw a pride of 12 lions who had just made a kill and were protecting it from vultures and hyena, then after about an hour of prime lion viewing we drove on and saw a whole bunch of cars who had stopped for wild dog. As we arrived at the back of the queue of cars, the pack leader got up off the road and came loping up towards and past us. Knowing the rest of the pack would follow, I reversed and one by one the wild dog came loping past us, most stopping for a fantastic photo op without a single other car in sight. Once they'd gone past us we drove a bit further and saw a big male cheetah walking in the road. We followed him for about 400m before he left the road and disappeared into the bush. Again, not another car in sight. We got to Nkhulu about an hour later than planned because of all the great sightings but had a bacon, egg and homemade flatbread skottel with a herd of elephants in front of us and very cheeky vervet monkeys and glossy starlings trying to steal our food..
When we left it would have been around 07h30 and it was getting very hot again so we didn't expect to see much else for the rest of the trip but between Nkhulu and Skukuza we saw one of the biggest herds of buffalo I've ever seen and then, between Skukuza and Malelane, we saw a car stopped on a river bridge and pulled up slowly next to them. They were watching a magnificent male leopard checking out a herd of impala about 400m away. We stopped and admired him for a few minutes and then he suddenly ran off in the direction of the impala. We reversed as fast as we could and we could hear all the alarm signals from the impala. We stopped and saw him crouched in the bush. He'd lost the element of surprise and we were literally amazed to see the impala form a phalanx against him . . . almost like an advancing haka . . . and drive him off. Never seen anything like it but understandable considering the amount of newborn impala we'd seen the whole week.
I go to the Kruger at least every second year and I can safely say that was the most memorable and exhilirating drive of my lfe.
I'm probably over-sharing but I hope that anecdote didn't bore you to tears, ButtPlug.
Wow, Rooinek. That all sounds absolutely amazing, I’m so jealous.
I’ve always wanted to go to Africa to see the big cats. It’s a great sadness in my life that I’ll never get there.
So I’m just going to live vicariously through you now ! 
That’s probably my favourite post of the year, thank you,
becs, South Africa has a lot of problems. The levels of corruption and violence in our country make it hard to even consider as a tourist destination . . . but we do still have the Cape winelands and the Kruger National Park.
Oh and becs, I know you have a medical condition but just to mention that the only reason I was in the KNP at this time of year is because we'd booked for a cooler time in September but my wife had to have an unexpected op to remove her ovaries (neither malignant thank goodness) so we had to shift our booking out. Considering what we saw I wouldn't change a thing but the point being she was able to sit most of the time with the seat reclined in an air-conditioned car.
Don't make your condition an excuse not to come visit the KNP. Same goes for the Cape winelands. You can visit Franschhoek and do the tram rides to all the best vineyards in the area.
Oh I’m so sorry to hear your wife has been unwell. Very glad to hear she’s got over it well
I’m mostly housebound now so it really is an impossibility to get on a plane and travel all that way.
I always wanted to visit SA since I was a child. I nearly got there when I was at University but got struck down by illness and that was that.
I love to hear everybody’s stories of their trips etc.It’s such a beautiful country in so many ways, the downsides are really sad to hear and read about.
Not really unwell but the op is like a C section so a 6 week recovery period. She is much stronger now and we're both just relieved there was nothing malignant.
South Africa does have a lot of problems but it is a beautiful country and well worth the visit.
Oh that sounds very nasty for her. I’m glad she’s ok now.
My younger brother has visited three times and my eldest brother once. They enjoyed their time in SA.
Indeed, a well relayed account of your trip, RooiNuts. Does sound like it was very lekker.
Also glad to hear your lady is on the mend.
I should really make more of an effort to visit KNP. Got a friend in Hoedspruit and he's offered one of his places on many occasions but I just never seem to find the time.
This mate of mine is a real character. He's a pilot and one of his sidelines is "mile high" photography. He flies the plane, his wife hangs over the front seat and takes pictures of their clients, for their clients haha.
Oh my God. Is that even a thing ?! 
Yet another kind of hangover.
Some spectacular interactions (sic). And it must have been that much more enjoyable with your wife’s health scare behind you.
On my last trip to the Kruger we went on an excursion in late twilight, following a pride of Lions. We were in the resort Land Rover with raised seats. At times we were close enough to the Lions to reach out and pat them on the their heads. Needless to say we were told not to do that, but the proximity was stunning.
The pride had two magnificent you male Lions within months of challenging the old leader…whose fate would then be expulsion from the Pride.
The other trick they had up their sleeve was to stop after dark, switch off the lights and listen to the night. It was inky black and quite eerie..
My Mum always says she’s typically English because she just wants to hug and stroke the animals. If she’d been with you, Mozart, she wouldn’t have been able to help herself with those lions…ha ha ha !
So amazing to see them all in their natural habitat.
I wasn’t tempted for one second becs.
It is indeed a thing, Becs.
And it's a small plane, so while things are "happening" my mate doesn't fly in a straight line.
Anyway, old RooiNuts...as you can see, though we do joust endlessly, and whether you like it or not, we are all your friends and do care about you.
You tit!
"...as you can see, though we do joust endlessly . . ."
Awesome wildlife tales there chaps including yours Plum :)
I spent most of my second year in the army in the Kruger Park literally sleeping on a stretcher under a bivy with the animals
I had a platoon of Shangaans who were amazing trackers, we patrolled the Zim/Mozambique border near Crooks Corner - we saw so much game that eventually you become oblivious to it, but it was an amazing time with those Shangaans, I had some real characters amongst them. We used to smoke plenty of weed, get the munchies and get stuck into the rat pack stocks
I once had to terminate a cow with foot and mouth that had crossed the border into the Kruger. My troops went down to the river to try shoot it but the vegetation was too thick for clear visibility. I was sitting on top of a hill, grabbed my rifle and shot the cow from a good distance away - it was literally the size of my finger nail in my sites - my troops were very impressed that all 3 shots were hits and called me Rambo after that :)
I used take all my weights into the bush with me and make a weights bench out of sandbags and branches
Those were the days
Rooi good to hear your lovely lady is good
Kruger is an incredible place. You cannot go there without seeing a vast array of animals. Love the feel of Africa you get there.
Yes glad your old lady is well now Rooitwit. she must of course be a great saint!
Rambo….I like that….it stays.
:)
Yeah, that’s the first name I thought of when I first saw Saffolk !!! 
What I want to know is...how you killed the cow from that range, Saffex?
Basically you'd need to hit the brain, brain stem or lungs...which makes about 5~10% of the cow's profile a killshot...and if it was the size of your fingernail...that means the killshot was about about the size of a matchstick head.
Hmmm?
If anybody could do it Rambo could….when he picked up his glass at Mossman’s in London his hand barely trembled.
Nothing like the film of the same name though ! They say it’s a remake…..not remotely !
So Plum are you saying I never shot the cow from a distance - I just randomly made that story up huh?
Fuck me you are pathetic
It's a 10 part series, I watched one episode & I was hooked .................. one of the year's best.
Not a remake of the original which was about an attempted assassination of Pres. de Gaulle .
Yeah I know. I remember the film from when I was a kid.
I’m on the final episode this Thursday night.
"If anybody could do it Rambo could….when he picked up his glass at Mossman’s in London his hand barely trembled"
LMAO
… never said you didn't hit it.
I asked you if you killed it.
You did use the word "terminate" in your OP. But I guess you're Rambo, so words like cull aren't in your vocabulary.
So, was your goal of terminating the cow with extreme prejudice and achieved?
...for your sake, I hope you succeeded. Else, what kind of clown crew of hardcore killers were you rolling with?
I said the instructions I received was to ‘terminate’ the cow - hellooooo
No I never killed it, it died of old age!!
Did the orders to terminate the cow self-destruct after you listened to them?
Yes as did I - but the cow is apparently alive and well in Kaguli
So the cow won?
Just based on the viable possibilities and circumstances of all this actually happening.... one has no other option but to categorically state that the cow won here.
Although... Rambo would have done it in one shot, with a ricochet off a sun tanning crocodile.
It's nice to see that even though the cow was hit 3 times.... it is still alive somewhere near Kakguli
Don't want to get into the whole debate about whether Saffex shot the cow or not, but even if he did shoot it from some distance, I don't think "Rambo" is a particulalrly apt nickname in that case.
I don't remember John Rambo using a rifle much in any of the movies or being known as any kind of crack shot. Now, if Saffex had stalked the cow, climed up on a nearby rock or tree and dropped down on the cow, killing it with a wooden spear that he'd fashioned himself from a branch and then hacked off one of it's limbs and carried it back to the rest of the platoon . . . then "Rambo" might be an appropriate name.
"First Blood" wasn't a bad action movie . . . decent but not great . . . but as with most sequels, they just got progressively worse. "Rambo 2" was crap, "Rambo 3" was downright pathetic while "Last Blood" was honestly one of the worst movies I've ever sat through.
T
B
W
Hope that helps (sic) ….hahaha what a pompous twat.
Those last two are machine guns, not rifles, you ignorant old fool. What is it you think you're proving in your befuddled drunken state?
Moffie, do you ever go even one day without getting egg all over your stupid fat face?
LMAO!
DA
I'm gonna bring a chicken and katana to your house.
By the end of the day one of us will be leaving with the nickname "Wise Samurai".
Of course they are (sic) but here:
Some examples of his precision include:
Rambo's portrayal as a "crack shot" aligns with his character's background as a highly trained and experienced combat veteran.’
….. …
LMAOFY&Y!
Wehe . . . the egg-faced old fool knows about as much about the difference between a rifle and a machine gun as he knows about the difference between a tighthead and a loosehead.
I somehow doubt my Shangaan troops delved into the details as to how Rambo made his kills
That cow was miles away thank goodness as I’m not one for killing animals for sport as so many of my mates back home are
(Sic)
‘ I don't remember John Rambo using a rifle much in any of the movies or being known as any kind of crack shot’
Chat
‘ Throughout the films, Rambo demonstrates exceptional accuracy with a variety of weapons, including rifles’
……..
Trying to be clever again (sic) you end up looking like a pompous fool. Stay down old chap….you can’t take too many blows at your advanced age
LMAOF&Y!
Another thing we did was fished with grenades
Ja well I was on the 4 inch gun and the squid mortars on the SAS Good Hope….and we never hit any fish.
Grenade in a shallow river has an amazing strike rate
Well maybe we got a few with the mortar.
“ That cow was miles away“
So 1 mile is 1609 m. And miles means more than 2. So your shot was taken more than 2 kilometres away.
To take that shot accurately, you need at-least a 338 Cal. or a 50 cal rifle.
You also need a bigger than 6-24x72 Hensoldt Tactical Long Distance Scope.
Preferably with a multicoated 72mm objective lens, our Spotting Scopes offer a bright, wide field of view (131-66ft/1000yards) and are fogproof, ensuring reliable performance in all weather conditions.
It is possible if you had the right shooting equipment and also taking in consideration the weather conditions.
Miles is not literal dumbass for fuck sake
I have no idea the distance - the cow was finger nail size in my sites
The rifle - a R4
The R4 is a assault rifle with a rate of fire of 650 RPM.
Cal. 5.56 x 45mm NATO. It’s effective shooting range is 450m.
don't forget ouDawie was gerook
a phantasmagorian experience mebbe ................. could've been smoking some good shit.
Poor cow 
Becs i am really sorry to hear that you have health issues…. I hope you feel better soon and someday return to normal.
Blob if I had been stoned there is a good chance I would have ended up shooting one of my troops in the vicinity of that cow
Oh thank you, Mpower. I appreciate it
Sadly, I’ll never be normal again and am just getting worse.
If I made a miraculous recovery I’m getting on a plane to come and see the gorgeous animals in SA
Becs, how about episode 9 of the Jackal ............ wot a hot shot !
Maybe When your African Rambo comes back from visiting South Africa, he can bring you a African Grey parrot with?
This might sound silly, but never give up hope becs….
Any case when I hear what you have to go thru, most of us has absolutely nothing to complain about.
I would like to commend you on your mental strength, it’s admirable:)
Blob……it was a very good shot !
Mpower……thank you, you’re very kind.
I’d love a big cat actually, if one could be delivered to me 
I’ll always try to never give up hope
That is good becs :) imagine having a Lion or a Cheetah….
If you had a big yard and the Big Cat can move freely inside and outside?
Didn’t you have a African Serval? And the Cat thought you were his girlfriend?
What about a Bengal Cat? They beautiful and very loyal companions. I would love one.
Or maybe a Maine Coon?
I had a Bengal. That’s the one who thought I was his girlfriend !
They’re beautiful but crazy. Need a lot of attention.
Oh ok :) then maybe just a another normal rescue kitty?
How is the one doing that was so skittish?
He’s doing ok, thanks.
Still skittish, but much improved.
He’s getting overexcited with all the Christmas decorations
Nice:) and the decorations can be very distracting…
Especially in my house ! It’s full to bursting
Hope you have a wonderful Christmas Becs :) and I know the Kitty will love it :)
You too, Mpower
President of
Hall Of Famer13,663 posts
Now, Rooi is a twattish, ignorant, incompetent, rude, weird, foolish, misguided, uninformed, poor chess playing, miserable, pityful, inconsequential, boring, uneducated windbag that smells of eisbein and cheap cane...
But I do miss him when he's not around.