1) Chippo - Beast - Well fed, probably quite short and perhaps even played prop at school. I imagine their accents to be identical.
2) Rooi - Adriaan Strauss - The red light follows Roxy wherever she goes. Red...Red is also for losers.
3) Pakie - CJ vd Linde - The most likely to raise an onslaught of a goal line defence when the chips are down.
4) Beeno - Matfield - They're basically the same person.
5) Draad - Lood - Tell me I'm wrong.
6) Plum - A Venter - Incredbly fit. Tough as hell. Legend, really.
7) Cloudy - Kruger - Just really wants to be in any scrum that involves Beeno. Known to play dirty.
8) Seb - P Spies - Never really seems comfortable. And is then suddenly waaaaay too comfortable.
9) Denny - R Paige - Shouldn't really be here but Faf was busy and Rudy's sox are always folded so neatly.
10) JW - Naas Botha - Timely interventions, mostly from range.
11) Moz - Habana - Often overruns the highball after expecting more distance on the "kick" from Denny.
12) Mike - F Steyn - Big feet often in mouth. Stubborn and with a permanent scowl. They're so similar.
13) Xavi - JDV - Captain fantastic in name. Makes less contributions than one would expect but they're often worthwhile.
14) Trad - Dyanti - Needs to cheat to get ahead. What a shame when one has such little confidence in yourself.
15) Cera - A Joubert - No Ferraris at the back for us please. We'd prefer a Bentley modified to look like tank.
Coach - WarDad - A Coetzee...Always mumbling some nonsense that nobody understands.
Forwards Coach - Saffex - Jannie D - Will only discuss the dark arts in a Bloemfintein bar.
EDIT: oh damn , I forgot Shark. Luckily he's used to being left behind. Wanna sell some peanuts on Saturday by the big match Sharky? You can pop-up in front of the crowd and say "Peanut brain selling peanuts."
