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Collaborative stress ball tale

Forum » Beenos Trumpet » Collaborative stress ball tale

Jun 06, 2019, 23:56

Apparently idle hands do the devil's bidding.


On some forums, regulars partake in collaborative story writing. Results vary but it's generally an enjoyable experience. 


When you have a moment, add a few lines, paragraphs or pages. You can't insert content anywhere. Additions must follow chronologically.


A concurrent thread that discusses plot and character ideas advisable. 


Rules range from relatively strict to non-existent. We're all mature enough to go for little to no rules.


People generally vote on a genre. 


Length and frequency of contribution are either limited or also entirely at discretion.


Sounds silly but over time it can become addictive. 


Genres...


Romace(No, just no)

Action

Crime

Sci-Fi

Fantasy(again, pleae no!)

Adventure

Horror

Historical Fiction


If somebody adds the first piece, they get to decide the genre. 


Anyone interested? If so, vote for a genre below. 






Jun 07, 2019, 06:43

I'll bite. 


Historical fiction

Jun 07, 2019, 08:16

I'll go for horror

Jun 07, 2019, 09:06

I second Historical Fiction.


Jun 07, 2019, 09:26

What no Romace??  (I figure that’s Romance)

Ok I’ll say Crime :)

Jun 07, 2019, 09:29

The voting can be ended at any time by a brave soul that provides the first piece.

We will go with whatever genre it is.

There's some incentive ;)

Jun 07, 2019, 09:43

Historical fiction it is then . . .

Our story begins in the Year 5 BC in the city of Rome. 

Not far from the Colosseum on a back street just off the main road is a tavern called the Forum Ruckussium owned by an old drunkard named Moffius. The tavern serves as a front to an illegal trafficking business run by Moffius where slaves known as Servile Gimps (Gimpus Servilae) are smuggled into the Colosseum by crooked guards to service those gladiators who have a preference for the company of men. Trafficking of Gimps is a surprisingly good source of income for Moffius, certainly enough to keep him inebriated all day every day and Moffius has one particular client - a gladiator named Klownius - who has an almost insatiable appetite for the services of the Servile Gimps.

The ground floor of Forum Ruckussium is a typical tavern with a bar and some tables and benches and Moffius does most of his business from behind the bar. Above the tavern are a few rooms where Moffius lives while below the tavern is an underground complex where the Servile Gimps live while they wait for their services to be requested. It is in this underground cellar below the tavern where our story begins . . .

Three of the Servile Gimps - DumbAssius, Beenius and Densus - are sitting around a table talking. Densus says "Any of you guys want to bet on the fight between Klownius and Plumus Prunius on Saturday? I reckon Plumus will take him down."

"Oooh I hope not", says Beenius, "Klownius is Master Moffius' best client . . . and we all know that he's our favourite client as well because he likes to be . . . ummmm . . . underneath."

"Yes", says DumbAssius, "but did you see what Plumus did to Draadtrekkius last week?"

"I did", says Beenius, "in fact I was with Draadtrekkius in his room after the fight and you won't believe all the cuts and bruises he had that I had to soothe and bandage."

"I wonder if Emperor Pissmintius will be there", says Dumbassius, "he often goes to the big fights. I really hate him. You won't believe all the naughty and mean things that he does."

"Oooooh I hate him too", says Densus "do you know what he said just the oth . . ."

Just then there's a knock on the door. It is OuMaaikus, one of the guards. He points to Densus and says, "You're up. Ceraduncius has requested you."

"Oh no," says Densus, "Ceraduncius can be quite rough sometimes. Why can't I ever get requested by Klownius?"

"I think it's because you're so ugly," says Beenius, "the only ones who request you want you face down."

"Our Master Moffius doesn't think I'm ugly", whimpers Densus "he thinks I'm beautiful."

"Yes but then again, he's always pissed." says DumbAssius.

"Come on then," says OuMaaikus, "let's go."

Densus leaves with OuMaaikus.

"So, Beenius", says DumbAssius, "have you heard all these stories about some Jew in Judea somewhere who calls himself the Messiah?"

"Gosh no", says Beenius, "but that sounds very interesting indeed! Tell me more!"

(This is where someone else takes over the story)

Jun 07, 2019, 10:15

Another gay fantacy by Pissmintius goes up in smoke as he wakes up from his favorite dream and realizes thet he is still not emperor...yet. His fascination with gay sex will have to wait for tomorrow night, as he has to get up to clean the stables and pigsty before Master gets home from his journey. Master loves everything in its place...Master can be cruel...Pissmintius must hurry!

Jun 07, 2019, 10:21

CUTTTTTTT, CUT, CUT!!!

NO THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT AT ALL.

This is not a filthy perverted gay porn show.

It's a romance, sci-fi, thriller with historical value and it begins like this.


A dark haired girl walks back toward the kitchen in the early hours of the morning, carrying a pail of steaming hot milk for the families breakfast. Walking beside her is her trusty Great Dane, a huge fawn, with a black muzzle, who's only interest is the contents of the pail.   

She notices a flash of light in the distance and sees a strange vessel pierce the dark, rapidly closing in on her. She watches it pass overhead and settle in a field just past the barn ....




Jun 07, 2019, 10:50

Sorry boys, you snooze you lose.


Anyone up for chapter 2 of the story that was started first? As per the guidelines Plumus -  I mean Plum - laid down? I was thinking along the lines of a day at the Colosseum and maybe a bit of characterization of this mysterious Emperor Pissmintius . . . but let it go where it goes. 

Jun 07, 2019, 10:59

Historical fiction it is then . . .

Our story begins in the Year 5 BC in the city of Rome. 


Not far from the Colosseum on a back street just off the main road is a tavern called the Forum Ruckussium owned by an old drunkard named Moffius. The tavern serves as a front to an illegal trafficking business run by Moffius where slaves known as Servile Gimps (Gimpus Servilae) are smuggled into the Colosseum by crooked guards to service those gladiators who have a preference for the company of men. Trafficking of Gimps is a surprisingly good source of income for Moffius, certainly enough to keep him inebriated all day every day and Moffius has one particular client - a gladiator named Klownius - who has an almost insatiable appetite for the services of the Servile Gimps.

The ground floor of Forum Ruckussium is a typical tavern with a bar and some tables and benches and Moffius does most of his business from behind the bar. Above the tavern are a few rooms where Moffius lives while below the tavern is an underground complex where the Servile Gimps live while they wait for their services to be requested. It is in this underground cellar below the tavern where our story begins . . .

Three of the Servile Gimps - DumbAssius, Beenius and Densus - are sitting around a table talking. Densus says "Any of you guys want to bet on the fight between Klownius and Plumus Prunius on Saturday? I reckon Plumus will take him down."

"Oooh I hope not", says Beenius, "Klownius is Master Moffius' best client . . . and we all know that he's our favourite client as well because he likes to be . . . ummmm . . . underneath."

"Yes", says DumbAssius, "but did you see what Plumus did to Draadtrekkius last week?"

"I did", says Beenius, "in fact I was with Draadtrekkius in his room after the fight and you won't believe all the cuts and bruises he had that I had to soothe and bandage."

"I wonder if Emperor Pissmintius will be there", says Dumbassius, "he often goes to the big fights. I really hate him. You won't believe all the naughty and mean things that he does."

"Oooooh I hate him too", says Densus "do you know what he said just the oth . . ."

Just then there's a knock on the door. It is OuMaaikus, one of the guards. He points to Densus and says, "You're up. Ceraduncius has requested you."

"Oh no," says Densus, "Ceraduncius can be quite rough sometimes. Why can't I ever get requested by Klownius?"

"I think it's because you're so ugly," says Beenius, "the only ones who request you want you face down."

"Our Master Moffius doesn't think I'm ugly", whimpers Densus "he thinks I'm beautiful."

"Yes but then again, he's always pissed." says DumbAssius.

"Come on then," says OuMaaikus, "let's go."

Densus leaves with OuMaaikus.

"So, Beenius", says DumbAssius, "have you heard all these stories about some Jew in Judea somewhere who calls himself the Messiah?"

"Gosh no", says Beenius, "but that sounds very interesting indeed! Tell me more!"

(This is where someone else takes over the story)

Sebastienus overhears the discussion from a nearby table and interjects. 

"I have heard of the Jew in Judea!" 

Beenius and Dumbassius roll their eyes in unison. All that frequent the tavern try to avoid making eye contact with Sebastienus, because even the slightest attention given to him will be, to his mind, an invitation for him to regale all that will listen with one of his long winded stories about places he has been and mundane things he has experienced. Without being invited he joins them at the table and takes over the conversation. 

"I have a cousin who's friend overheard a barman in Judea talking about the Jew. Apparently he is able to cure all sorts of ailments. Leprosy, blindness and even paralysis are no challenge for him. He can even turn water into wine! For his services one need only believe that he is the son of the almighty. He does have a set of terms and conditions though. For example, he does not perform these services for homosexuals." 

Beenius, now no longer rolling his eyes, is more than just a little interested. 

"Why should we believe you? You have never once been able to prove one of your stories true. Nobody can ever attest to what you claim to have seen or experienced. I need proof otherwise I am just going to put this down to another one of your long winded fairy tales."

Not discouraged, Sebastienus simply replies. 

"You don't need proof, you just need faith."

With that Beenius has all the evidence he needs. He stands up and grabs at his belongings. In his excitement he sends his goblet of milk flying. For him nothing else matters. There is one thing and one thing only on his mind. Cure the tiny penis!  


Jun 07, 2019, 11:03

LMAO!

Nice one bluebokius!

Jun 07, 2019, 11:06

Yeeeeessss CC.......she hurries towards the light glowing in the field but as she approaches the light disappears. She stops for a moment wondering if she had imagined it. Then out of the darkness came the thundering sound of horses hooves. The shadowy figures of mysterious creatures on horses made her blood chill. But then.......’Matthias Mathias’, she cries!

Ok I think I’ll stick to Crime haha

Jun 07, 2019, 11:11

Hopefully this thread will be a stress reliever for one and all :)

Jun 07, 2019, 11:18

Just a quick side note. This is seriously tongue in cheek stuff, please people, don't get offended by this obvious silliness. Its all just a bit of fun. You are welcome to make me a cross dressing, cripple murderer in the story for all I care. 


By the way Plum, good idea. 

Jun 07, 2019, 11:21

Bluebok....it’s good hearted fun something the board badly needs. I just wish I had the imagination of the rest of you. Funny read!

Jun 07, 2019, 12:29

Diary entry: 07/06/-0005


Plumus Prunius has been brought to Big Bear where i have promised to prepare him for his next bought.

He recently suffered more injuries than he should have in a fight against a vastly inferior opponent. 

This had re-lit the eye of the tiger in Plumus and it's said that wherever he goes now, rock music can be heard playing in the background. Plumus wasn't aware that actual bears lived at Big Bear and it's this very rock music phenomenon that drew a large brown bear closer to investigate. 

Plumus was not armed as he did his 100km sprint at altitude today. He only had his next fight on his mind. He did not even have a water bottle with him. He claims that he absorbs moisture from the atmosphere and can go without food for twelve years. There are still no photographs of him eating. 

As Plumus rounded a large tree he was suddenly confront by the giant bear. Its large eyes were teary and it looked lost as it said "Mowgli?"

"Hey! Hey! Easy you big perverted bear!" Plumus said as he adopted his outdoor wing-chung raptor pose. 

"Are you Mowgli?"

"The fuck? Come one step closer and I'm gonna rip your throat out like in Roadhouase - shout out Patrick Swayze."

"Are you my Mowgli?"

Plumus did a quick calculation in his head. He determined that he'd sprinted about forty kilometers and had sixty left to go. With a bear skin weighing about thirty kilograms he wouldn't be able to sprint all the way back. He decided to kill the bear anyway.

Plumus blinked through the bear and was behind it in an instant. The bear looked down to realise that it's heart been ripped from it's body. It fell to the floor with a loud thud. 

Approximately seventeen minutes after setting off for his warm up sprint, Plumus arrived back at the gym. He threw a large neatly cleaned bear skin on the back  of my bakkie. He then printed into the gym and flying kicked a heavy bag through an adjacent wall.

Day 1 at training camp is underway.


Uli Schmidt - Coach to Plumus




Jun 07, 2019, 16:34

.

Jun 07, 2019, 20:34

Draad that one was for the Plebs.

This one is for the patricians...lol

[The Forum.]

Enter Uranilus and goes into the pulpit, and Ceradonus, with the Plebeians.

FORUM:

We will be satisfied! Let us be satisfied!

URINALUS:

Then follow me and give me audience, friends.
Cleancutus, go you into the other street
And part the numbers.(5)
Those that will hear me speak, let 'em stay here;
Those that will follow Ceradonus, go with him;
And public reasons shall be rendered
Of Sofsexus's death.

FIRST CITIZEN:

I will hear Cleancutus speak.(10)

SECOND CITIZEN:

I will hear Ceradonus and compare their reasons,
When severally we hear them rendered.

[Exit Ceradonus, with some of the Citizens.]

THIRD CITIZEN:

The noble Cleancutus is ascended. Silence!

CLEANCUTUS:

Be patient till the last.
Romans, countrymen, and lovers! Hear me for my cause,(15)
and be silent, that you may hear. Believe me for mine
honor, and have respect to mine honor, that you may
believe. Censure me in your wisdom, and awake your
senses, that you may the better judge. If there be any in this
assembly, any dear friend of Sofsexus's, to him I say that(20)
Cleancutuss' love to Sofsexux was no less than his. If then that
friend demand why Cleancutus rose against Sofsexus, this is my
answer: Not that I loved Sofsexus less, but that I loved Rome
more. Had you rather Sofsexus were living and die all slaves,
than that Sofsexus were dead to live all freemen? As Sofsexus(25)
loved me, I weep for him; as he was fortunate, I rejoice at
it; as he was valiant, I honor him; but as he was ambitious,
I slew him. There is tears for his love, joy for his fortune,
honor for his valor, and death for his ambition. Who is here
so base that would be a bondman? If any, speak, for him(30)
have I offended. Who is here so rude that would not be a
Roman? If any, speak, for him have I offended. Who is here
so vile that will not love his country? If any, speak, for him
have I offended. I pause for a reply.

ALL:

None,Cleancutus, none.(35)

CLEANCUTUS:

Then none have I offended. I have done no more to
Sofsexus than you shall do to Cleancutus. The question of his death
is enrolled in the Capitol, his glory not extenuated, wherein
he was worthy, nor his offenses enforced, for which he
suffered death.(40)

Enter Advocatus [and others] with Sofsexus's body.

Here comes his body, mourned by Advocatus, who, though
he had no hand in his death, shall receive the benefit of his
dying, a place in the commonwealth, as which of you shall(45)
not? With this I depart—that, as I slew my best lover for the
good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself, when it
shall please my country to need my death.

ALL:

Live, Cleancutus, live, live!

FIRST CITIZEN:

Bring him with triumph home unto his house.(50)

SECOND CITIZEN:

Give him a statue with his ancestors.

THIRD CITIZEN:

Let him be Sofsexus.

FOURTH CITIZEN:

Sofsexus's better parts
Shall be crown'd in Cleancutus.

FIRST CITIZEN:

We'll bring him to his house with shouts and clamors.(55)

CLEANCUTUS:

My countrymen—

SECOND CITIZEN:

Peace! Silence! Cleancutus speaks.

FIRST CITIZEN:

Peace, ho!

CLEANCUTUS:

Good countrymen, let me depart alone,(60)
And, for my sake, stay here with Advocatus.
Do grace to Sofsexus's corse, and grace his speech
Tending to Sofsexus's glories, which Advocatus,
By our permission, is allow'd to make.
I do entreat you, not a man depart,(65)
Save I alone, till Advocatus have spoke.

Exit.

FIRST CITIZEN:

Stay, ho, and let us hear Advocatus


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