The following from Babylon Bee:-
Washington has a long history of using empty chairs to make political statements, from "empty-chairing" politicians who don't show up to hearings to leaving chairs empty to protest gun violence.
The practice continued at tonight's State of the Union address, as Democrats left a lone chair empty in the audience to honor their fallen hero General Qasem Soleimani.
"We wanted to call attention to the violence Trump has wrought against innocent freedom fighters," Nancy Pelosi said. "This is just one way we continue to call out his callous oppression of America's enemies. Any enemy of America is an enemy of me, I always say, and Trump needs to understand that principle."
In a controversial part of the speech, Trump said, "Terrorism is bad," drawing boos from the Democrats' side. "Read the room!" shouted one congressman. "Too soon!"
"I mean, we're usually against terrorism," said Senator Chuck Schumer, "but if Trump is against it, it must be the best thing ever."
And this about the Iowa Debacle:-
The Democratic primaries have broken down into chaos after the party encountered its archnemesis head-on for the first time: basic math."
While progressives were optimistic going into the primaries, they'd forgotten that numbers, counting, and addition would be required.
"No one told us math would be involved!" said one angry Bernie Sanders voter. The Democratic primaries have broken down into chaos after the party encountered its archnemesis head-on for the first time: basic math.
While progressives were optimistic going into the primaries, they'd forgotten that numbers, counting, and addition would be required.
"No one told us math would be involved!" said one angry Bernie Sanders voter. "We just kinda wanted them to pick our guy. We weren't told there would be things like addition, counting, and more counting. Can't we just win based on blind optimism. kinda like socialism works?”
Pete Buttigieg quickly declared victory, even though votes weren't tallied yet, as he claimed he is the morally correct choice, if not the mathematically selected one. "It's 2020, and we're still basing primaries on outdated concepts like counting. This is not our America."
"We would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that pesky math!" grumbled Bernie Sanders.
For the next state primary, votes will be tallied based on heart, passion, and love, rather than confusing concepts like digits, sums, and adding 2 and 2 together."
And then there was the State of the Union Address:-
After completely mopping the floor with the snowflake libs on the Senate floor, the Trump administration fears that he is at high risk of drowning in a literal tidal wave of liberal tears during Tuesday's State of the Union address.
"The risk for liberal tear downpour is always high any time Trump speaks," said climatologist Dr. Herbert Thwayne. "But under these conditions, the risk is driven up exponentially. Not only is there going to be a record amount of crying like a bunch of babies, but the melting snowflakes are going to cause a rapid rise in the sea level. It's smart for the president to take any precautions necessary."
For the general public, Weather scientists recommend staying indoors on Tuesday and for families located in blue states to wear life vests on Tuesday night.